confinement period aka berpantang is a must for all preggy women...some said it's a miserable 40 days coz nama pun berpantang...so terlampau bnyk le pantang larangnyer....and soklan yg kita slalu dengar, "nanti bersalin katner??" and followed by "nnt berpantang katner??".....
never ever in my life occurs in my mind that my confinement period is without mak.....it's all mom-to-be wish that during their confinement, they will be taken care by their mom....never occur in my mind to bother bout confinement or to ask anything bout confinement from mak....coz all i noe is, during my confinement period, i will stay wif mak...and i noe, that's wut she's hoping for as well....dolu, k linda pantang mak jaga....yele k linda pun anak yatim piatu when she married my eldest brother....and for me, being da only daughter and da youngest who always clinging to her mother, mesti le berharap yg bile pantang mak sendiri yg akan jaga....and mak mn yg tak looking forward nak jaga anak sendiri masa pantang...sbb mak will attend to all my rengekan...hahaha..though aku dah besar....ppl who sees me wif mak will noe how manja i am wif her and how she manjakan aku...tp Allah maha mengetahui.....
dulu sblm kawen, mak penah sembang dgn Opah De, mak's auntie yg lebih kurang sebaya jerk dgn mak....dia ckp nnt nak beli iron bed...nak buat bertangas tuk aku....nak buat cam ikan panggang le...nak soh aku baring atas iron bed tuh, then kat bawah tuh nak letak le bara yg berempah...kekonon nak salai aku....huhuh....and i was looking forward for it....tp skang just imagination jele.....
mak, being da greatest mother has ever lived....she makes it a routine to make receiving blankets to all her grandchild.....that's wut she did to my 2 nieces....and unfortunately, her own daughter's son didn't get da chance to be wrapped wif his opah's receiving blanket....and mak will also make a complete set of tilam and bantal for her grandchild....and bukan rezeki anak aku gak tuk merasa tuh semua....xpe le sayang, Allah maha mengetahui...
and when ever i meet ppl, they will ask...."nnt kamu bersalin katner?"....i'll reply "dekat KL jerk...hospital pusrawi..dkt dgn rumah...jauh2 nnt takut tak sempat.." wif a huge grin on ma face...a very reasonable and strong answer....then they'll ask, "nnt pantang katne plak"....it was a question which i dun really hv da answer....mama, my mother-in-law has never offer me to pantang at Seremban....padahal, her 1st daughter-in-law pantang kat seremban...bersalin pun kat seremban...sanggup tuh dr subang rush to seremban masa pecah ketuban semata-mata nak bersalin kat seremban....at 1st, aku mcm kecik ati gak le sbb mama tak offer....then dia ade sembang ngan mr hubby, dia tanya aku pantang katner?? mr hubby said at my mother's sis-in-law in sri kembangan.....mama ckp, mama pun xle nak jaga aku sbb dia keje....
and aku pun tak sampai ati nak pantang kat seremban sbb mengenangkan mama keje....she's a maternity nurse...mmg really fit for my confinement...tp, bile pikir yg dia keje shift...timing x menentu....dgn papa pun no longer around....and to my surprise, dah le dia keje shift....kekadang balik kol 8 mlm ke....and she's da one yg kene prepare dinner plak....kalo dia keje during da weekend masuk tgh hari pun, b4 she goes to work dia plak yg masak tuk anak-anak dara dia yg padahal muda sethn jerk dr aku dgn yg bongsu dah darjah 6.....kesian dia...bile pikir she has to do all da house chores, from cooking and washing cloth....aku cam xsampai hati plak nak pantang kat umah mama.....kesian dgn dia...padahal dia ade jerk anak dara...muda sethn jerk dr aku...lg sorang tuh pun dah darjah 6 dah....xreti plak nak ringankan beban mak ko kan???
dulu memula preggy, K linda ajak aku pantang sesama ngan dia kat ipoh...yele, dedua anak yatim piatu kan...kitowang jaga satu sama lain le...dia ckp dia nak amik maid sepanjang confinement...then dpt plak offer dr Mak Uda...my father's in-law punyer sis-in-law....dia ajak pantang kat umah dia...tp kat JB le....pastuh, masa bln puasa hari tuh....acik, my mak anjang punyer maid (mak anjang is my mother's younger brother's wife) ajak aku pantang kat umah derang in seri kembangan....time tuh offer tuh cam tak serious jerk....xtau le ajak2 ayam ke hape...huhu....nnt bln 11 aku nak tanya mak anjang lagik skalik....raya hari tuh aku tanya maid dia ngan mak dia...derang cam ok jerk...mak anjang je aku blum kompemkan....dia nak ke jaga aku masa pantang nie....maybe xlama....3 weeks top...then balik le pantang sendirik....rumah derang pun kat sri kembangan jerk...so, mr hubby pun bole jerk nak ulang alik pegi opis dr ctu.....
yele, aku pun 1st time preggy kan...mmg pengalaman and knowledge totally zero...then K Linda bitau aku, pah (my father's mother) jahitkan 7 bengkung baby....owh so sweet...she said it's for me and k linda....she's very old and very weak....she's 80++ and to my surprise, she can make da time and effort regardless her weakness to made da bengkung bb for us....K linda ckp, pah kesian sbb both of us xde mak......and K linda pun ckp, dulu mak ade jahit bengkung utk k linda, so k linda bg kamu la ye.....at least i have something that was made by mak.....
so jaja, pantang le dgn mak ko selagi ade mak nie.....kalo dgn mak kita, nak ngengada ke, nak merengek ke...nak tanya pape pun senang...sbb she's ur mother...she knows u inside out....she was da one who took care of u till u can become a wonderful mother now....leha plak, import le mak ko ke Canada nnt....or balik le pantang kat Mesia....Beba, nak buat camne dah ko besalin kat Sabah itu hari....
thrust me, if i have mak, i'll call her every single day to ask her all about pregnancy....she's ur mother, so u won't feel ashamed or hesitated....i can just strip in front of her and ask her about all da changes on my body.....mak, it's hard for me to got through this life changing moment without u by my side....
we're hubby and wifey for.....
Our Abang Al-Ameer Hafiz
Perginya ahli syurga Al-Adli Hariz
Showing posts with label feelings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feelings. Show all posts
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Sayangilah & Bersyukurlah dengan suami....
SATU PERJALANAN
"Tanggungjawap suami selain memberi nafkah dan mencari rezeki, jangan lupa bimbing anak dan isteri. Kalau suatu hari berlaku selisih faham, jagan cepat menuding jari. Duduk berbincang dan cari kata sepakat. Tiada bumi tak ditimpa hujan"
Teringat pesan ayah disuatu petang....
"Ayah dulu bila arwah mak mula bising berusra, ayah tak balas dengan kata-kata..Ayah keluar hidupkan motor, pergi ke Behrang cari mee goreng mamak.. Bila sampai saja dirumah, ayah hulur pada arwah Mak, muka yang tadi masam terus senyum riang...Suami kene taju kesukaan isteri, supaya mudah memujuk hati," Ayah menambah berkongsi pengalaman selama 41 tahun bersama arwah Mak...
Persefahaman antara suami isteri bukan boleh dicapai sehari dua. Ia merupakan satu perjalanan sepanjang usia perkahwinan. Cabaran dan dugaan pastinya tisak sama, diawal, pertengahan dan dihujungnya. Justeru, sikap saling memberi dan menerima sangat perlu dipupuk dan dibaja. Memberi kelebihan diri untuk saling melengkapi. Menerima kekurangan untuk saling menginsafi, suami mahu pun isteri bukanlah manusia sempurna.
SILAP ISTERI
Kesilapan isteri bermula apabila melupakan kebaikan suami kerana benci dengan sikapnya yang tidak menyenangkan jati. Silap menjadi dosa andai keistimewaan suami orang yang sering dibicara. Keburukan suami dijaja, atas alasan minta nasihat rumahtangga. Tapi apa maknanya kalau semua orang bercerita. Rasulullah SAW pernah mengingatkan melalui sabdanya yang bermaksud:
"Wahai kaum wanita, aku lihat kamu ini lebih banyak di neraka" Seorang wanita lalu bangun bertanya "Apakaha yang menyebabkan yang demikian? Adakah sebab kami ini kufur?" Rasulullah SAW menjawab "Tidak. Bukan begitu. Tetapi ada dua tabiat kamu yang tidak elok yang boleh menjerumuskan kamu kedalam neraka:
Ada kalanya, isteri merajuk tanpa sepatah kata. Suami yang tak tahu menahu, terus buat biasa. Muka isteri semakin kelat, hilang serinya. Menahan ego diri, ingin dipujuk dengan kata cinta, namun tidak berbicara dan bersemuka. Suami tertanya-tanya sendiri, akhirnya terasa hati. Salah siapa agaknya, bila masing-masing memendam rasa. Kasih mula bertukar marah. Marah marak menyala benci.
YANG LEBIH, YANG KURANG
“Awak beruntung ye, dapat suami yang memahami. Tak seperti saya. Hari-hari menjeruk rasa,” luah seorang teman yang baru beroleh cahaya mata.
“Suami saya juga ada kurangnya. Tapi kelebihannya lebih banyak untuk saya perkatakan. Saya pun isteri yang ada salah dan silap,” jawab saya supaya dia buka mata.
“ Ada suami yang tak pandai urusan rumah tangga, namun dia bijak berjenaka, meriah suasana. Ada suami yang jarang menghadiahkan bunga, tapi selalu membelanja anak dan isteri dengan makanan istimewa. Dan ramai juga suami yang tidak reti memujuk, bermain kata. Tapi mudah bertoleransi bila diminta bantu sini dan sana . Ketepikan kekurangannya dan ambil kelebihan. Pasti awak juga akan rasa bertuah beroleh suami seperti dia.” pujuk saya lagi. Moga-moga dia berubah hati. Kembali ‘memandang tinggi’ kehadiran seorang suami.
ENGKAU TERBAIK UNTUKKU
“Sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit, apa pula suami isteri, buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih. Baru teguh peribadi.”
Wahai teman bergelar isteri, mari kita muhasabah diri. Pohon keampunan dari Ilahi agar cinta Nya bersemi kembali. Banyakkan istighfar dan juga sedekah, kerana janji Allah setiap kebaikan menghapus kejahatan.
Susunkan jemari pintalah kemaafan dari lelaki bernama suami. Jangan bertangguh dan jangan lengah. Bimbang maaf tiada serinya lagi.
Pandang wajahnya, lihat matanya. Bisikkan di sanubari, “Terima kasih, suamiku. Engkau terbaik untuk diri ini.”
Mencari dan terus mencari cinta Ilahi.
Saling berpesan-pesan kpd kebaikan..
"Tanggungjawap suami selain memberi nafkah dan mencari rezeki, jangan lupa bimbing anak dan isteri. Kalau suatu hari berlaku selisih faham, jagan cepat menuding jari. Duduk berbincang dan cari kata sepakat. Tiada bumi tak ditimpa hujan"
Teringat pesan ayah disuatu petang....
"Ayah dulu bila arwah mak mula bising berusra, ayah tak balas dengan kata-kata..Ayah keluar hidupkan motor, pergi ke Behrang cari mee goreng mamak.. Bila sampai saja dirumah, ayah hulur pada arwah Mak, muka yang tadi masam terus senyum riang...Suami kene taju kesukaan isteri, supaya mudah memujuk hati," Ayah menambah berkongsi pengalaman selama 41 tahun bersama arwah Mak...
Persefahaman antara suami isteri bukan boleh dicapai sehari dua. Ia merupakan satu perjalanan sepanjang usia perkahwinan. Cabaran dan dugaan pastinya tisak sama, diawal, pertengahan dan dihujungnya. Justeru, sikap saling memberi dan menerima sangat perlu dipupuk dan dibaja. Memberi kelebihan diri untuk saling melengkapi. Menerima kekurangan untuk saling menginsafi, suami mahu pun isteri bukanlah manusia sempurna.
SILAP ISTERI
Kesilapan isteri bermula apabila melupakan kebaikan suami kerana benci dengan sikapnya yang tidak menyenangkan jati. Silap menjadi dosa andai keistimewaan suami orang yang sering dibicara. Keburukan suami dijaja, atas alasan minta nasihat rumahtangga. Tapi apa maknanya kalau semua orang bercerita. Rasulullah SAW pernah mengingatkan melalui sabdanya yang bermaksud:
"Wahai kaum wanita, aku lihat kamu ini lebih banyak di neraka" Seorang wanita lalu bangun bertanya "Apakaha yang menyebabkan yang demikian? Adakah sebab kami ini kufur?" Rasulullah SAW menjawab "Tidak. Bukan begitu. Tetapi ada dua tabiat kamu yang tidak elok yang boleh menjerumuskan kamu kedalam neraka:
- Kamu banyak mengutuk atau menyumpah
- Kamu kufurkan kebaikan suami
Ada kalanya, isteri merajuk tanpa sepatah kata. Suami yang tak tahu menahu, terus buat biasa. Muka isteri semakin kelat, hilang serinya. Menahan ego diri, ingin dipujuk dengan kata cinta, namun tidak berbicara dan bersemuka. Suami tertanya-tanya sendiri, akhirnya terasa hati. Salah siapa agaknya, bila masing-masing memendam rasa. Kasih mula bertukar marah. Marah marak menyala benci.
YANG LEBIH, YANG KURANG
“Awak beruntung ye, dapat suami yang memahami. Tak seperti saya. Hari-hari menjeruk rasa,” luah seorang teman yang baru beroleh cahaya mata.
“Suami saya juga ada kurangnya. Tapi kelebihannya lebih banyak untuk saya perkatakan. Saya pun isteri yang ada salah dan silap,” jawab saya supaya dia buka mata.
“ Ada suami yang tak pandai urusan rumah tangga, namun dia bijak berjenaka, meriah suasana. Ada suami yang jarang menghadiahkan bunga, tapi selalu membelanja anak dan isteri dengan makanan istimewa. Dan ramai juga suami yang tidak reti memujuk, bermain kata. Tapi mudah bertoleransi bila diminta bantu sini dan sana . Ketepikan kekurangannya dan ambil kelebihan. Pasti awak juga akan rasa bertuah beroleh suami seperti dia.” pujuk saya lagi. Moga-moga dia berubah hati. Kembali ‘memandang tinggi’ kehadiran seorang suami.
ENGKAU TERBAIK UNTUKKU
“Sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit, apa pula suami isteri, buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih. Baru teguh peribadi.”
Wahai teman bergelar isteri, mari kita muhasabah diri. Pohon keampunan dari Ilahi agar cinta Nya bersemi kembali. Banyakkan istighfar dan juga sedekah, kerana janji Allah setiap kebaikan menghapus kejahatan.
Susunkan jemari pintalah kemaafan dari lelaki bernama suami. Jangan bertangguh dan jangan lengah. Bimbang maaf tiada serinya lagi.
Pandang wajahnya, lihat matanya. Bisikkan di sanubari, “Terima kasih, suamiku. Engkau terbaik untuk diri ini.”
Mencari dan terus mencari cinta Ilahi.
Saling berpesan-pesan kpd kebaikan..
Thursday, August 5, 2010
24th July 2010....
it was a normal saturday morning...hubby is getting ready for work (yeah he's working on saturday now)...me, still in bed...huhu...it's weekend babe.....his hp ringing a few times...he's in a shower....once he's done, i told him bout all da missed calls....
so he return all da missed calls coz it was from Pak Uda (his uncle) and Pizal (his brother)...i can hear his conversation from da hall...then i heard "Laila ha Illallah"....dat's wut make me woke up....then he came into da bedroom and said to me "Pak uda ckp, papa meninggal"....i was like..."biar betul?!!"..."betul la...xkan Pak Uda nak tipu I kot."...this time i'm already standing..."bile meninggal? kenape?"...then mr hubby said "xtau...pak uda pun mcm xtau...cepat siap.."
kelam kabut aku mandi and kemas beg...and as usual, i have to chck wut did hubby packed for himself....i insist to drive back to seremban...one thing bout hubby, when he's driving, he can't really chat...especially when he has something on his mind like now....on our way, i asked mr hubby's to call his brother to find out more bout it...he can't really think under pressure...i sms my brothers to notify them..i sms sha and asked her favor to inform other frens....
once we're in seremban, fizal and K Linda (hubby's SIL) is already there...so i help K Linda kemas rumah...then only we find out da real story....papa (FIL) went to Medan da day before wif 2 other neighbors...he went there to settle on tour guide as he has a planning to open a travel agency once he retire....papa already had heart attack twice before....but last nite, he was attack again...and this time, takdir Allah da medical facilities in Medan is like Malaysia's before merdeka...they dun even have the electric shock...they just do da manual CPR...they dun even have freezer for their rumah mayat....so papa was place in a room temperature je....they are so daif....
family in-law decided to bring papa back to Malaysia...Alhamdulillah he went wif close frens...so the frens help all the arrangement....but they need RM7k to bring the jenazah back to Malaysia..and it was Saturday....so hubby, his brother and his sister keluar tuk mengumpul duit...how much can u withdraw from ATM pun?? so they have to withdraw from several banks...Alhamdulillah they manage to sent da money before the Malaysian Consulate in Indonesia close....the ETA of jenazah papa is the next morning.....just found out that abg, bancik and anjang is on da way to Seremban...then i asked them to come da next day....
the next day, jenazah arrived at around 2:00pm....it was an overwhelming feeling when i saw da van jenazah...me and hubby is still mourning on mak passed away, then not even a month after that, we were shocked by this news....semua org berkerumun dkt keranda coz they wanna see papa...i dunno wut they wanted to see...it's not like a show or present giving ceremony...and da stupidest thing was da van jenazah driver even said "haa..sape nak amik gamba keranda boleh la sblm saya bukak keranda nie" wut da fuck man???!!! none in any people's rational mind will say something as dumb as dat....and to my surprise, some one did took a photo...we can even hear da click sound....Ya Allah....kesian papa....when they open da keranda, i can't hold back my tears....all i can see was papa's cheerful face....da face that never stop smiling and never stop making jokes.....
i'm not sure weather is da culture or it's da people's consciousness...i didn't see anyone recite Yassin at all on Saturday...until our friends from TM arrive..(farouk, gigs, fathul and da other one i forgot his name)....they solat and then recite Yassin....i'm really thankful that they came....while hubby's uncles, aunties and cousins are at his Pak Long's house bz cooking for Tahlil that very nite....only me, K Linda, Baby (hubby's younger sister), mama (MIL) is at home....dah macam kenduri keraian plak sebok memasak....when mak passed away, someone told me not to serve anything ie foods or drinks to people coming until da jenazah dikebumikan....and even for tahlil, u dun have to cook beria sgt....u just served nasi goreng or mee goreng is more than just enough.....but it's different here....da food served during tahlil was so lavish dengan kari dagingnya, sambal petai la, masak lemak la..and yassin was not even placed at da hall for ppl to recite....i tried to find yassin, but i manage to get 2 only....i dun noe, maybe da culture here is different....
and on saturday nite, all of us sleep at da hall...they even switched off da light....not many people know, that roh org yg meninggal akan berada dirumahnya selama 3 hari...that's why we were advice to buat tahlil 3 days in a row....da reason being is, da roh want to stay and see how will his family members be without him....that's why ppl say, jgn berhenti mengaji selama 3 hari, kalau bole khatam satu quran...and dun switch off da lights...wut i can do is, just advice hubby wut to do and wut not to do.....
to my surprise, some ppl dun even know about iddah....if u dun know bout it, please google and ask ustaz or ustazah....and pity mama, she dun noe bout iddah....i was restless to noe that she didn't noe, and no one in da family even know...not even hubby's uncle inform mama bout iddah....when a women losses her husband, she is bound under iddah for 4 months and 2 days...during this iddah u can't:
1. memakai sebarang perhiasan emas atau perak
2. tidak boleh memakai wangi-wangian
3. tidak boleh berdandan atau bersolek
4. tidak boleh keluar rumah melainkan pergi bekerja atau jika tidak, ia akan memudaratkan keluarga...contoh jika balu tersebut tidak keluar rumah akan menyebabkan anak2 tidak makan...
5. tidak dibenarkan hadir kesebarang majlis keraian...
iddah is actually mentioned in Al-Quran....it does not came from Sunnah, sahabat rasulullah atau fatwa....
to my surprise, mama went all da way to papa's school to pack his stuff...she even went to banks to withdraw money, she went to pasar tani and to my suprise, hubby's brother even suggest to celebrate his wife's birthday at their uncle restaurant on Tuesday nite..
Ya Allah, it will be my sin if i didn't inform bout iddah to them....then on Tuesday, when all of them went out to Pejabat pendaftaran including mama, i called hubby...i told him bout iddah...me myself wasn't sure bout it, so we google....that very evening, i heard hubby talk to mama bout this....and Alhamdulillah mama understood...
papa passed away was really a surprise to everyone...da last time i saw him was during mak's passed away....he came all da way from Seremban by bus....all da ppl that came says he's a joyful and bubbly person....no one sees it coming....all da memory i have on him was his joke, his laugh and his smile...for me he's very cute and when ever i think of him, it will make me smile....baru berniat nak menumpang kasih pada bapak mentua, tp Allah maha mengasihi dia....my child won't have any idea how it's like to have a grandpa....
before marriage, we have this deal where every raya we would go back to Ipoh as mak is alone and she only has me as a daughter.....then when mak passed away, this year i will still celebrate raya in Ipoh coz we wanted to meet all our relatives...but Allah knows better....nampaknya raya thn nie di seremban la.....2 losses in not even a month....Ya Allah, agak berat dugaan yang Kau turunkan kepada kami suami isteri.....berilah kami kekuatan dan kesabaran untuk menghadapi segala dugaan ini....sesungguhnya Engkau maha mengetahui.....
so he return all da missed calls coz it was from Pak Uda (his uncle) and Pizal (his brother)...i can hear his conversation from da hall...then i heard "Laila ha Illallah"....dat's wut make me woke up....then he came into da bedroom and said to me "Pak uda ckp, papa meninggal"....i was like..."biar betul?!!"..."betul la...xkan Pak Uda nak tipu I kot."...this time i'm already standing..."bile meninggal? kenape?"...then mr hubby said "xtau...pak uda pun mcm xtau...cepat siap.."
kelam kabut aku mandi and kemas beg...and as usual, i have to chck wut did hubby packed for himself....i insist to drive back to seremban...one thing bout hubby, when he's driving, he can't really chat...especially when he has something on his mind like now....on our way, i asked mr hubby's to call his brother to find out more bout it...he can't really think under pressure...i sms my brothers to notify them..i sms sha and asked her favor to inform other frens....
once we're in seremban, fizal and K Linda (hubby's SIL) is already there...so i help K Linda kemas rumah...then only we find out da real story....papa (FIL) went to Medan da day before wif 2 other neighbors...he went there to settle on tour guide as he has a planning to open a travel agency once he retire....papa already had heart attack twice before....but last nite, he was attack again...and this time, takdir Allah da medical facilities in Medan is like Malaysia's before merdeka...they dun even have the electric shock...they just do da manual CPR...they dun even have freezer for their rumah mayat....so papa was place in a room temperature je....they are so daif....
family in-law decided to bring papa back to Malaysia...Alhamdulillah he went wif close frens...so the frens help all the arrangement....but they need RM7k to bring the jenazah back to Malaysia..and it was Saturday....so hubby, his brother and his sister keluar tuk mengumpul duit...how much can u withdraw from ATM pun?? so they have to withdraw from several banks...Alhamdulillah they manage to sent da money before the Malaysian Consulate in Indonesia close....the ETA of jenazah papa is the next morning.....just found out that abg, bancik and anjang is on da way to Seremban...then i asked them to come da next day....
the next day, jenazah arrived at around 2:00pm....it was an overwhelming feeling when i saw da van jenazah...me and hubby is still mourning on mak passed away, then not even a month after that, we were shocked by this news....semua org berkerumun dkt keranda coz they wanna see papa...i dunno wut they wanted to see...it's not like a show or present giving ceremony...and da stupidest thing was da van jenazah driver even said "haa..sape nak amik gamba keranda boleh la sblm saya bukak keranda nie" wut da fuck man???!!! none in any people's rational mind will say something as dumb as dat....and to my surprise, some one did took a photo...we can even hear da click sound....Ya Allah....kesian papa....when they open da keranda, i can't hold back my tears....all i can see was papa's cheerful face....da face that never stop smiling and never stop making jokes.....
i'm not sure weather is da culture or it's da people's consciousness...i didn't see anyone recite Yassin at all on Saturday...until our friends from TM arrive..(farouk, gigs, fathul and da other one i forgot his name)....they solat and then recite Yassin....i'm really thankful that they came....while hubby's uncles, aunties and cousins are at his Pak Long's house bz cooking for Tahlil that very nite....only me, K Linda, Baby (hubby's younger sister), mama (MIL) is at home....dah macam kenduri keraian plak sebok memasak....when mak passed away, someone told me not to serve anything ie foods or drinks to people coming until da jenazah dikebumikan....and even for tahlil, u dun have to cook beria sgt....u just served nasi goreng or mee goreng is more than just enough.....but it's different here....da food served during tahlil was so lavish dengan kari dagingnya, sambal petai la, masak lemak la..and yassin was not even placed at da hall for ppl to recite....i tried to find yassin, but i manage to get 2 only....i dun noe, maybe da culture here is different....
and on saturday nite, all of us sleep at da hall...they even switched off da light....not many people know, that roh org yg meninggal akan berada dirumahnya selama 3 hari...that's why we were advice to buat tahlil 3 days in a row....da reason being is, da roh want to stay and see how will his family members be without him....that's why ppl say, jgn berhenti mengaji selama 3 hari, kalau bole khatam satu quran...and dun switch off da lights...wut i can do is, just advice hubby wut to do and wut not to do.....
to my surprise, some ppl dun even know about iddah....if u dun know bout it, please google and ask ustaz or ustazah....and pity mama, she dun noe bout iddah....i was restless to noe that she didn't noe, and no one in da family even know...not even hubby's uncle inform mama bout iddah....when a women losses her husband, she is bound under iddah for 4 months and 2 days...during this iddah u can't:
1. memakai sebarang perhiasan emas atau perak
2. tidak boleh memakai wangi-wangian
3. tidak boleh berdandan atau bersolek
4. tidak boleh keluar rumah melainkan pergi bekerja atau jika tidak, ia akan memudaratkan keluarga...contoh jika balu tersebut tidak keluar rumah akan menyebabkan anak2 tidak makan...
5. tidak dibenarkan hadir kesebarang majlis keraian...
iddah is actually mentioned in Al-Quran....it does not came from Sunnah, sahabat rasulullah atau fatwa....
to my surprise, mama went all da way to papa's school to pack his stuff...she even went to banks to withdraw money, she went to pasar tani and to my suprise, hubby's brother even suggest to celebrate his wife's birthday at their uncle restaurant on Tuesday nite..
Ya Allah, it will be my sin if i didn't inform bout iddah to them....then on Tuesday, when all of them went out to Pejabat pendaftaran including mama, i called hubby...i told him bout iddah...me myself wasn't sure bout it, so we google....that very evening, i heard hubby talk to mama bout this....and Alhamdulillah mama understood...
papa passed away was really a surprise to everyone...da last time i saw him was during mak's passed away....he came all da way from Seremban by bus....all da ppl that came says he's a joyful and bubbly person....no one sees it coming....all da memory i have on him was his joke, his laugh and his smile...for me he's very cute and when ever i think of him, it will make me smile....baru berniat nak menumpang kasih pada bapak mentua, tp Allah maha mengasihi dia....my child won't have any idea how it's like to have a grandpa....
before marriage, we have this deal where every raya we would go back to Ipoh as mak is alone and she only has me as a daughter.....then when mak passed away, this year i will still celebrate raya in Ipoh coz we wanted to meet all our relatives...but Allah knows better....nampaknya raya thn nie di seremban la.....2 losses in not even a month....Ya Allah, agak berat dugaan yang Kau turunkan kepada kami suami isteri.....berilah kami kekuatan dan kesabaran untuk menghadapi segala dugaan ini....sesungguhnya Engkau maha mengetahui.....
Monday, July 12, 2010
dream.....
last Saturday i dream of mak....da dream was about our most spent moment together which was getting ready for wedding reception....huhu...yeah....though it sounds funny but i always menyendeng and menyebok in her room....aku sebok pilih2 baju....one thing bout mak was, her fashion sense is quite up to date...most of ppl call her mak datin...hahaha....she really knows how to pilih kain for baju kurung....all da kain that she chose will turn out good....she will never choose kain from 1 colour only...it will always be a colourful and cheerful....
so aku sebok pilih baju dlm almari mak....last 4 years, aku dah bole pakai baju mak....nope, bukan mak makin kurus, but i'm getting bigger....hahaha....though it'll look big on me, tp bole dipakai especially when emergency.....and that nite i dream that i'm eying this one white kebaya with sulam lubang-lubang....it was 100% cotton.....no, she never have that kind of baju before...tp ntah, mn plak dtg baju tuh....
the great thing bout being da only daughter is, we can share everything....from baju, tudung, perfume, jewelery and even shoes......haha...her favorite perfume was channel no5 and jadore....
and yesterday while lepaking and watching tv wif mr hubby kat hall sambil baring-baring....bile peluk mr hubby tetibe rasa rindu nak peluk mak....da last time i hugged her was 1 month ago...mak thought us to be full of love and compassionate...so, we often hugs and kisses each other....dan sepanjang mak sakit, i sleep wif her....she hugged me and i missed it...a lot......
why does hugging ur mother will makes all ur problems seem to disappear????
so aku sebok pilih baju dlm almari mak....last 4 years, aku dah bole pakai baju mak....nope, bukan mak makin kurus, but i'm getting bigger....hahaha....though it'll look big on me, tp bole dipakai especially when emergency.....and that nite i dream that i'm eying this one white kebaya with sulam lubang-lubang....it was 100% cotton.....no, she never have that kind of baju before...tp ntah, mn plak dtg baju tuh....
the great thing bout being da only daughter is, we can share everything....from baju, tudung, perfume, jewelery and even shoes......haha...her favorite perfume was channel no5 and jadore....
and yesterday while lepaking and watching tv wif mr hubby kat hall sambil baring-baring....bile peluk mr hubby tetibe rasa rindu nak peluk mak....da last time i hugged her was 1 month ago...mak thought us to be full of love and compassionate...so, we often hugs and kisses each other....dan sepanjang mak sakit, i sleep wif her....she hugged me and i missed it...a lot......
why does hugging ur mother will makes all ur problems seem to disappear????
Thursday, July 8, 2010
29th June 2010 9:30pm
i went to work as normal...almost a week i left da office...as i was discussing with Tuan Haji, my boss, i received phone call from bancik, my elder brother....he said, "tadi nurse call..dia ckp mak sesak nafas...kene pakai bantuan oksigen...so, dia soh anak2 semua dtg la...."..i'm still cool when we hunged up....then i told haji that i have to go back to ipoh and told him bout mak's condition...
got home, pack our cloth...mr hubby has to pack his own cloth today....then we headed straight to Ipoh....Alhamdulillah la i just got ma salary that time...bole le balik....mr hubby drive half way, i drive half way...coz mr hubby stayed up previous nite watching football....still, i didn't even shed a tears and still remain calm....i keep on saying to my self, if it's time, then i'm redha.....
i arrived in ipoh at around 1:00 pm..dropped mr hubby at Silibin's house to help bancik kemas rumah..at dat time, derang tgh tebas pokok2 kat laman, and susun perabot dlm rumah to make space for mak to arrive later that afternoon.....we planned to let mak rest at the dining hall instead of back room...then i head to hospital....
mak in hdu (high dependency unit)....k linda (SIL) is packing mak's stuffs...her eyes puffed due to crying...and she still crying..abang (my eldest brother) keep on saying shahadah to mak's ears.....mak was unconscious at that time...she breath heavily through oxygen mask....bila dia bernafas, macam tercungap ckit.....i hold her hand and i said to her ears, "mak...nie amy..." no response...then i said shahadah to her ears....then again i said "mak, nie amy nie..."...again no response....at this time, i cried...abang went to settle da bill and her discharge....
at around 3:00pm, she's ready for discharge....da ambulance have to take her home and abang went together in da ambulance...me and K linda drive home separately ....we place mak at da dining hall....everything was ready...all da furniture has been cleared out for da tahlil later after Asar....
many people had gathered...mak's younder brothers and sister pun dah berkumpul except anjang and andak....opah, da jiranita (da ladies in our neighborhood form this jiranita club) , some of our relatives who stayed nearby...even from distance is already here....one thing about mak that all of our relatives acknowledge was, she likes to visit people..not just hari raya, but when ever she's somewhere and there's a relative staying nearby, she will go and visit them....or when ever she felt that it has been awhile that she haven't meet them, she will go to their house....most of da relatives that we know and visit, sebenanyer sedara yang sgt jauh...bau-bau bacang je pun...
after asar, there's tahlil....and a lot of people baca yassin....pak mujib and K sal's (SIL) ustazah advice us to read surah ar-ru'du....little that we know yang surah tu untuk mendoakan semoga dipermudahkan pemergiannya....when ever i seat beside mak untuk mengaji, i will hold and squeezed her hand....
people come and go....that nite, we didn't cook...beli makan je....lepas isya' baru makan....and masa aku bz ke hulu ke hilir, someone asked me "suami kamu dah makan ker?"...then i replied "nie tgh nak siapkan le nie"....then she said, "adun dia, suami kamu tuh.."....masa aku pas mkn kat mr hubby kat depan, K Linda said to me..."nape mak bernafas macam dah tak tercungap jerk?"...i went, "ye ke? nnt amy gi tgk sat"...i thought to myself, pas amikkan kuewtiau mr hubby, nak gi tgk mak le....after i passed da kuewtiau to mr hubby, i went to see mak....i saw k linda dah menangis teresak dah....org dah gather around....i come nearer....abg tgh check mak's pulse kat tengkuk....abg ckp dah xde heartbeat....K linda plak check, she said ade heartbeat but very2 slow....i plak check kat tgn....couldn't feel any....then abg suruh bancik panggil our neighbor, doctor at GH....K linda check again, she said ade....since macam semua pun xde jawapan yg sahih, we just wait for the doctor....
dgn kehendak Allah, da doctor was not on-call that nite...he and his wife came....his wife is also a doctor in GH...he tried to check for mak's heart beat, but there's no any....he check her eyes..then he took out his stethoscope...he paused and turned to abg, and slowly he said "dah takde dah"....abg terus ckp "Al-Fatihah"....straight away i heard abg teresak...K linda pun mmg dah teresak....aku lg la....
aku sangat bersyukur Al-hamdulillah pemergian mak mmg mudah sbb:
malam tu bergilir-gilir org baca yassin...i went up to bed sbb mmg dah tak larat....we drove from KL and i'm almost 4 months pregnant....so mmg tenaga tuh tak bnyk compared to tak mengandung....next morning i woke up at around 6:00 am and went down lepas celik jerk mata...i saw Wan Ya (my late father's cousin whom mak was very close to, she came all da way from Tmn Melawati to nurse my mom...but turn out she's there for her funurel) is awake and tgh nak solat subuh....i went to mak, selak da white selendang which is covering her face, i kissed her...she looks like she's sleeping, so calm....i know because i often drop in mak's room at nite while she was a sleep to give a kiss on her cheek.....then i went up to mandi and solat subuh...
at 9:00 am, qariah wanita masjid yg nak menguruskan jenazah mak sampai....masa nak mandikan mak, k linda nak masuk mandikan sekali, then makcik tuh cakap, "kalo bole, yang mengandung xpayah le masuk"...then mak anjang, mak's SIL said "tapi kak, anak menantu semua tgh mengandung"...makcik tuh reply "takpelah kalo mcm tuh...." masa mandikan, dalam tuh ade 3 org qariah masjid, k linda, mak anjang and me......only Allah knows how i felt at that moment...mandikan jenazah mak sendiri....air mata jgn ckp le....mmg meleleh...mak anjang sampai kene bukak spec sbb cermin tuh dah blur dgn air mata...dan Al-hamdulillah, again Allah beri kekuatan for me to be strong, tak menangis sepanjang masa.....half way, Auntine Madinah, one of mak close friend came in and help....mmg mudah nak mandikan mak...masa pusingkan jenazah pun, mudah jerk...and still, mak looks like she's asleep....so calm...
i help all da way from mandikan sampailah menkafankan.....mak dipakaikan kain solat, baju macam baju kurung kedah tapi long sleeves....dalam tuh dilapiskan dgn cotton....then dipakaikan telekung, pastuh balut dgn 3 lapisan kain putih....setiap selang kain putih tuh, ditabur kapur barus, minyak atar and serbuk kuning not sure wut it is...baju & telekung tak berjahit...ikat jerk between each end...Alhamdulillah, Allah beri juga kekuatan supaya aku tak menangis....walhal aku nie mmglah ratu air mata....tgk Monster Inc 5x pun, 5-5 kali aku nangis.....tp, at that moment, Allah beri aku kekuatan....
makcik yang mandikan mak tuh panggil sesiapa yang nak cium mak untuk kali terakhir....semua adik-adik mak and adik ipar cium kecuali anjang...we couldn't find him.....some of my cousins, mak's close fren....even mr hubby kissed mak....abg said, he cried after he kissed mak....and me da last person to kiss her.....time nie air mata mmg dah xleh tahan...i cried of course...knowing that will be da last time i'm gonna kiss her....solatkan...then took her to masjid tuk org qariah masjid solatkan jenazah lg skalik....then pengkebumian di gurap......again masa jirus air atas kubur mak, i cried....
mak pergi menemui Allah....to be together with the men she loves the most....for 17 years she lives wif her husband, and for 17 years she lives without him....it's time for her to go....regardless of all this, aku sangat bersyukur pada Allah sbb sakit mak tak lama, mak tak sedarkan diri pun tak lama, permergian mak dipermudahkan dan kami dibantu oleh jiran yg jugak doctor dan ustazah aku.....process memandikan, mekafankan dan mengkebumikan jenazah pun cepat dan mudah.....
Ya Allah, ko peliharalah ibuku seperti mana dia mempelihara orang-orang yang disayanginya....ringankanlah seksa kuburnya dan tempatkanlah dia dikalangan org2 yg beriman.....
got home, pack our cloth...mr hubby has to pack his own cloth today....then we headed straight to Ipoh....Alhamdulillah la i just got ma salary that time...bole le balik....mr hubby drive half way, i drive half way...coz mr hubby stayed up previous nite watching football....still, i didn't even shed a tears and still remain calm....i keep on saying to my self, if it's time, then i'm redha.....
i arrived in ipoh at around 1:00 pm..dropped mr hubby at Silibin's house to help bancik kemas rumah..at dat time, derang tgh tebas pokok2 kat laman, and susun perabot dlm rumah to make space for mak to arrive later that afternoon.....we planned to let mak rest at the dining hall instead of back room...then i head to hospital....
mak in hdu (high dependency unit)....k linda (SIL) is packing mak's stuffs...her eyes puffed due to crying...and she still crying..abang (my eldest brother) keep on saying shahadah to mak's ears.....mak was unconscious at that time...she breath heavily through oxygen mask....bila dia bernafas, macam tercungap ckit.....i hold her hand and i said to her ears, "mak...nie amy..." no response...then i said shahadah to her ears....then again i said "mak, nie amy nie..."...again no response....at this time, i cried...abang went to settle da bill and her discharge....
at around 3:00pm, she's ready for discharge....da ambulance have to take her home and abang went together in da ambulance...me and K linda drive home separately ....we place mak at da dining hall....everything was ready...all da furniture has been cleared out for da tahlil later after Asar....
many people had gathered...mak's younder brothers and sister pun dah berkumpul except anjang and andak....opah, da jiranita (da ladies in our neighborhood form this jiranita club) , some of our relatives who stayed nearby...even from distance is already here....one thing about mak that all of our relatives acknowledge was, she likes to visit people..not just hari raya, but when ever she's somewhere and there's a relative staying nearby, she will go and visit them....or when ever she felt that it has been awhile that she haven't meet them, she will go to their house....most of da relatives that we know and visit, sebenanyer sedara yang sgt jauh...bau-bau bacang je pun...
after asar, there's tahlil....and a lot of people baca yassin....pak mujib and K sal's (SIL) ustazah advice us to read surah ar-ru'du....little that we know yang surah tu untuk mendoakan semoga dipermudahkan pemergiannya....when ever i seat beside mak untuk mengaji, i will hold and squeezed her hand....
people come and go....that nite, we didn't cook...beli makan je....lepas isya' baru makan....and masa aku bz ke hulu ke hilir, someone asked me "suami kamu dah makan ker?"...then i replied "nie tgh nak siapkan le nie"....then she said, "adun dia, suami kamu tuh.."....masa aku pas mkn kat mr hubby kat depan, K Linda said to me..."nape mak bernafas macam dah tak tercungap jerk?"...i went, "ye ke? nnt amy gi tgk sat"...i thought to myself, pas amikkan kuewtiau mr hubby, nak gi tgk mak le....after i passed da kuewtiau to mr hubby, i went to see mak....i saw k linda dah menangis teresak dah....org dah gather around....i come nearer....abg tgh check mak's pulse kat tengkuk....abg ckp dah xde heartbeat....K linda plak check, she said ade heartbeat but very2 slow....i plak check kat tgn....couldn't feel any....then abg suruh bancik panggil our neighbor, doctor at GH....K linda check again, she said ade....since macam semua pun xde jawapan yg sahih, we just wait for the doctor....
dgn kehendak Allah, da doctor was not on-call that nite...he and his wife came....his wife is also a doctor in GH...he tried to check for mak's heart beat, but there's no any....he check her eyes..then he took out his stethoscope...he paused and turned to abg, and slowly he said "dah takde dah"....abg terus ckp "Al-Fatihah"....straight away i heard abg teresak...K linda pun mmg dah teresak....aku lg la....
aku sangat bersyukur Al-hamdulillah pemergian mak mmg mudah sbb:
- dr tercungap, she breath slowly then it stop just like that....
- our neighbor yg doctor tu pun, kebetulan on leave that nite....so, he and his wife help us to take of da oxygen, tube makan and tube kencing mak....he remove da plaster on her skin....yg mmg we dun even noe how to do....
- and i dun even realize, when my ustazah rubiah arrived...she was my ustazah way back when i was in standard 4...but we often meet at masjid....she was da one who thought me to put an oil at all of mak sendi....lutut, siku, bahu, pinggul, ankle...dia ckp supaya senang masa mandikan jenazah....
- Alhamdulillah jugak at that time, Allah beri aku kekuatan untuk tak menangis and manage to do all that....ustazah mintak kain putih untuk ikat bawah dagu, supaya mulut mak tetutup rapat....ikat pergelangan kaki dan kedua ibu jari kaki supaya rapat....ikat pergelangan tangan macam masa solat....i removed her cloth, and replace wif mak's favourite kain batek lepas....which she often wear to wedding wif her favourite baju kurung...ambik selendang putih (this selendang she usually wear wif her UMNO uniform) to cover her face.....then we place her mengadap kiblat.....
malam tu bergilir-gilir org baca yassin...i went up to bed sbb mmg dah tak larat....we drove from KL and i'm almost 4 months pregnant....so mmg tenaga tuh tak bnyk compared to tak mengandung....next morning i woke up at around 6:00 am and went down lepas celik jerk mata...i saw Wan Ya (my late father's cousin whom mak was very close to, she came all da way from Tmn Melawati to nurse my mom...but turn out she's there for her funurel) is awake and tgh nak solat subuh....i went to mak, selak da white selendang which is covering her face, i kissed her...she looks like she's sleeping, so calm....i know because i often drop in mak's room at nite while she was a sleep to give a kiss on her cheek.....then i went up to mandi and solat subuh...
at 9:00 am, qariah wanita masjid yg nak menguruskan jenazah mak sampai....masa nak mandikan mak, k linda nak masuk mandikan sekali, then makcik tuh cakap, "kalo bole, yang mengandung xpayah le masuk"...then mak anjang, mak's SIL said "tapi kak, anak menantu semua tgh mengandung"...makcik tuh reply "takpelah kalo mcm tuh...." masa mandikan, dalam tuh ade 3 org qariah masjid, k linda, mak anjang and me......only Allah knows how i felt at that moment...mandikan jenazah mak sendiri....air mata jgn ckp le....mmg meleleh...mak anjang sampai kene bukak spec sbb cermin tuh dah blur dgn air mata...dan Al-hamdulillah, again Allah beri kekuatan for me to be strong, tak menangis sepanjang masa.....half way, Auntine Madinah, one of mak close friend came in and help....mmg mudah nak mandikan mak...masa pusingkan jenazah pun, mudah jerk...and still, mak looks like she's asleep....so calm...
i help all da way from mandikan sampailah menkafankan.....mak dipakaikan kain solat, baju macam baju kurung kedah tapi long sleeves....dalam tuh dilapiskan dgn cotton....then dipakaikan telekung, pastuh balut dgn 3 lapisan kain putih....setiap selang kain putih tuh, ditabur kapur barus, minyak atar and serbuk kuning not sure wut it is...baju & telekung tak berjahit...ikat jerk between each end...Alhamdulillah, Allah beri juga kekuatan supaya aku tak menangis....walhal aku nie mmglah ratu air mata....tgk Monster Inc 5x pun, 5-5 kali aku nangis.....tp, at that moment, Allah beri aku kekuatan....
makcik yang mandikan mak tuh panggil sesiapa yang nak cium mak untuk kali terakhir....semua adik-adik mak and adik ipar cium kecuali anjang...we couldn't find him.....some of my cousins, mak's close fren....even mr hubby kissed mak....abg said, he cried after he kissed mak....and me da last person to kiss her.....time nie air mata mmg dah xleh tahan...i cried of course...knowing that will be da last time i'm gonna kiss her....solatkan...then took her to masjid tuk org qariah masjid solatkan jenazah lg skalik....then pengkebumian di gurap......again masa jirus air atas kubur mak, i cried....
mak pergi menemui Allah....to be together with the men she loves the most....for 17 years she lives wif her husband, and for 17 years she lives without him....it's time for her to go....regardless of all this, aku sangat bersyukur pada Allah sbb sakit mak tak lama, mak tak sedarkan diri pun tak lama, permergian mak dipermudahkan dan kami dibantu oleh jiran yg jugak doctor dan ustazah aku.....process memandikan, mekafankan dan mengkebumikan jenazah pun cepat dan mudah.....
Ya Allah, ko peliharalah ibuku seperti mana dia mempelihara orang-orang yang disayanginya....ringankanlah seksa kuburnya dan tempatkanlah dia dikalangan org2 yg beriman.....
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Kau Pergi.....
yesterday was exactly a week my beloved mother, Hajjah Salbiah binti Nek left us to meet Allah and to be together with the man she love the most, my father Ahmad Hashim Hawari bin Mustapha.....
though it has been a week, but it feels like she's still around....i can still feels her love, caring, tenderness and warmth.....
i wanted to share about her departed, but at da moment my tears are running down heavily.....my office table are flooded wif my tears....i still cried every single day...i can't just be alone at da moment.....will share more wif u guys once i'm sober.....
below is da video clip "Kau pergi" by Aizat in English version...i wanted to post Video Clip in Malay version, but this clip in English is just so right at this moment....i cried through out da Talentime movie coz Azean looks exactly like my mother when she was in da hospital after her breast cancer operation....
the lyrics "Kau Pergi"
Sayu terpisah
Hikayat indah kini hanya tinggal sejarah
Berhembus angin rindu
Begitu nyamannya terhidu wangian kasihmu
though it has been a week, but it feels like she's still around....i can still feels her love, caring, tenderness and warmth.....
i wanted to share about her departed, but at da moment my tears are running down heavily.....my office table are flooded wif my tears....i still cried every single day...i can't just be alone at da moment.....will share more wif u guys once i'm sober.....
below is da video clip "Kau pergi" by Aizat in English version...i wanted to post Video Clip in Malay version, but this clip in English is just so right at this moment....i cried through out da Talentime movie coz Azean looks exactly like my mother when she was in da hospital after her breast cancer operation....
the lyrics "Kau Pergi"
Sayu terpisah
Hikayat indah kini hanya tinggal sejarah
Berhembus angin rindu
Begitu nyamannya terhidu wangian kasihmu
Hujan lebat mencurah kini
Bagaikan tiada henti
Kaulah laguku kau irama terindah
Tak lagi ku dengari
Kau pergi
Pergi
Sepi tanpa kata
Terdiam dan kaku tak daya kau ku lupa
Apa pun kata mereka
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Wednesday, May 12, 2010
taknak kawan sudah....huh!!
semalam 1st time mr hubby pegi keje naik moto....zaman rempit dia telah kembali semula....kitowang beli moto dr norman...bf sha...norman nie beli moto before raya thn lps...sbb masa raya dia nak gi umah onne sbb sha balik pahang bawak keta....peh tuh dia just bawak 2-3 kali jerk....sbb dia takut nak bawak moto....so dia rasa cam rugi, so kitowang beli la....sambung baya...moto bese jerk..EX5...tp aku xminat...sbb xde electric starter...huhu..kene kick start....penat le itu macam....
but that got nothing to do ngan my topic....selingan jerk...topic hr nie adelah berkisar tentang......
all this while, i just use da toilet in da master bed room...mr hubby use da toilet outside coz it has water heater...aku xle mandi air panas nie...nnt my skin prickle peh tuh jadik gatal-gatal....tp smlm sbb macam sejuk giler jerk masa nak mandi malam....ptg smlm kan hujan...then i wanted to wash my hair pun....xnak le selesema plak nnt....and xnak le nnt baby lahir kene asthma...so, i decided to mandi kat toilet luar...nak mandi water heater....
alangkah terperanjatnyer aku bile masuk toilet tuh.....ini telah mengundang kemarahan ibu tiri peah nie....huih...aku mmg paling pantang benda-benda camnie....perasaan marah sgt membuak-buak...tp mr hubby blum sampai umah lg time nie....dia kt dia nak buat sales report....ntah sejak bile ntah dia kene buat sales report tuh....sambil aku mandi tuh, aku menyumpah-nyumpah dan membebel sowang-sowang....nasib baek umah aku hujung....and org xbnyk lalu lalang dpn umah....kalo tak mmg org dah dengar le aku membebel dlm toilet tuh....
tgh mandi aku dengar pintu kene bukak....so, aku pikir camne aku nak ckp ngan mr hubby nie...nak mula camne...aku nie jenis kalo marah, mmg direct terus....xreti nak kias-kias...intro-intro nie.....xpe le, we just see how da flow will go....
aku kuar toilet tgk mr hubby tgh dok dpn tv sambil belek-belek bil mende ntah....
Aku : tayang.....(maksud dia sayang..tp aku cam pelat ckit...xtau sejak bile tetibe xreti sebut sayang betul-betul)
mr hubby : ye?
Aku : meh jap...
mr hubby : nape? (muka dia cam dah ade ckit cuak pada ketika itu)
Aku : meh le....
(suami mithali tuh pun dtg le mengikut permintaan isteri tersayang)
Aku : cube u tgk sinki ngan toilet tuh....
mr hubby : (tgk jele dah aku soh dia tgk...dan tanpa sempat dia ckp pape, mulut peah pun berbunyik tanpa henti cam itik serati pulang petang)
Aku : nie umah sape? kan nie umah kita...nape u tak cuci toilet tuh?
mr hubby : mana ade masa nak cuci....
Aku : mn ade xde masa....bukannyer tetiap weekend kita xde kat umah....koto camtuh bukan baru pagi tadik jadik....nie dah sebln baru dia jadik camtuh.....ape le salahnya time u mandi tuh u gosok ckit sinki tuh...sok mandi cuci plak toilet tuh.....pot...pet...pot...pet......patut le onne ngan gigs dtg umah kita perli-perli...rupenyer sbb toilet kita kotor....pot...pet...pot...pet....selama nie i ingat u suka sepah-sepah jerk....rupenyer u suka buat koto (ini adalah ayat yg aku rasa paling harsh aku penah ckp kat dia)....
sian aku tgk dia denga aku membebel....nie 1st time woo aku marah dia....1st time gak le aku membebel....aku bukan saje nak marah...tp maybe time pregnant nie aku emo kot....lgpun aku paling pantang kalo toilet umah kotor...aku slalu le marah abg aku kalo toilet kat umah koto...skalik umah aku pun dah terkena sumpahan....peh tuh aku terus masuk bilik....amik wudhuk dan solat isyak....peh aku solat aku nampak dia nak mandi....peh tuh kuar toilet tuh amik kleen floor....isk...dan-dan le plak ko nak menyental mlm nie kan?? baby ko dlm perut nie dah lapa dah nie.....
then before dinner, aku nak mintak mahap....dia bole buat bo-layan plak....xnak pandang aku plak....sebok plak nak nengok biggest looser tuh....isk.....aku ckp jerk aku mintak mahap....sekati dia le nak mahapkan ker idak....janji aku dah mintak mahap sblm ngadap rezeki....pas mkn dok tgk tv tp tak ckp ngan aku pun.....sampai le aku masuk tido.....dia cam bese le, mesti tetido kat luar dpn tv....aku terjaga kol 2:00 am, gerak le dia masuk tido kat dlm...
peh tuh pagi tadi dia pegi keje tak bitau aku pun...aku bgn lmbt td....cam bese le, mood malas keje time pregnant nie....so, aku bebuat tido time dia tgh siap-siap gi keje tuh.....dia buat xtau pun....slalu kalo dia gi time aku tgh tebungkang, dia mesti dtg kaco aku, gerak aku, picit breast aku sbb dia tau aku akan marah peh tuh bgn.....nie dia buat bodo jerk....peh tuh tak bg pun kiss gud bye....isk...sampai ati dia....
Foot Note : mr hubby aku nie bukan lah pengotor orgnya...cume dia tak diajar dari kecil untuk membuat keje-keje umah ataupun menjadik pro-active before being told to do so....kalo tak soh, mmg dia xkan buat....
but that got nothing to do ngan my topic....selingan jerk...topic hr nie adelah berkisar tentang......
all this while, i just use da toilet in da master bed room...mr hubby use da toilet outside coz it has water heater...aku xle mandi air panas nie...nnt my skin prickle peh tuh jadik gatal-gatal....tp smlm sbb macam sejuk giler jerk masa nak mandi malam....ptg smlm kan hujan...then i wanted to wash my hair pun....xnak le selesema plak nnt....and xnak le nnt baby lahir kene asthma...so, i decided to mandi kat toilet luar...nak mandi water heater....
alangkah terperanjatnyer aku bile masuk toilet tuh.....ini telah mengundang kemarahan ibu tiri peah nie....huih...aku mmg paling pantang benda-benda camnie....perasaan marah sgt membuak-buak...tp mr hubby blum sampai umah lg time nie....dia kt dia nak buat sales report....ntah sejak bile ntah dia kene buat sales report tuh....sambil aku mandi tuh, aku menyumpah-nyumpah dan membebel sowang-sowang....nasib baek umah aku hujung....and org xbnyk lalu lalang dpn umah....kalo tak mmg org dah dengar le aku membebel dlm toilet tuh....
tgh mandi aku dengar pintu kene bukak....so, aku pikir camne aku nak ckp ngan mr hubby nie...nak mula camne...aku nie jenis kalo marah, mmg direct terus....xreti nak kias-kias...intro-intro nie.....xpe le, we just see how da flow will go....
aku kuar toilet tgk mr hubby tgh dok dpn tv sambil belek-belek bil mende ntah....
Aku : tayang.....(maksud dia sayang..tp aku cam pelat ckit...xtau sejak bile tetibe xreti sebut sayang betul-betul)
mr hubby : ye?
Aku : meh jap...
mr hubby : nape? (muka dia cam dah ade ckit cuak pada ketika itu)
Aku : meh le....
(suami mithali tuh pun dtg le mengikut permintaan isteri tersayang)
Aku : cube u tgk sinki ngan toilet tuh....
mr hubby : (tgk jele dah aku soh dia tgk...dan tanpa sempat dia ckp pape, mulut peah pun berbunyik tanpa henti cam itik serati pulang petang)
Aku : nie umah sape? kan nie umah kita...nape u tak cuci toilet tuh?
mr hubby : mana ade masa nak cuci....
Aku : mn ade xde masa....bukannyer tetiap weekend kita xde kat umah....koto camtuh bukan baru pagi tadik jadik....nie dah sebln baru dia jadik camtuh.....ape le salahnya time u mandi tuh u gosok ckit sinki tuh...sok mandi cuci plak toilet tuh.....pot...pet...pot...pet......patut le onne ngan gigs dtg umah kita perli-perli...rupenyer sbb toilet kita kotor....pot...pet...pot...pet....selama nie i ingat u suka sepah-sepah jerk....rupenyer u suka buat koto (ini adalah ayat yg aku rasa paling harsh aku penah ckp kat dia)....
sian aku tgk dia denga aku membebel....nie 1st time woo aku marah dia....1st time gak le aku membebel....aku bukan saje nak marah...tp maybe time pregnant nie aku emo kot....lgpun aku paling pantang kalo toilet umah kotor...aku slalu le marah abg aku kalo toilet kat umah koto...skalik umah aku pun dah terkena sumpahan....peh tuh aku terus masuk bilik....amik wudhuk dan solat isyak....peh aku solat aku nampak dia nak mandi....peh tuh kuar toilet tuh amik kleen floor....isk...dan-dan le plak ko nak menyental mlm nie kan?? baby ko dlm perut nie dah lapa dah nie.....
then before dinner, aku nak mintak mahap....dia bole buat bo-layan plak....xnak pandang aku plak....sebok plak nak nengok biggest looser tuh....isk.....aku ckp jerk aku mintak mahap....sekati dia le nak mahapkan ker idak....janji aku dah mintak mahap sblm ngadap rezeki....pas mkn dok tgk tv tp tak ckp ngan aku pun.....sampai le aku masuk tido.....dia cam bese le, mesti tetido kat luar dpn tv....aku terjaga kol 2:00 am, gerak le dia masuk tido kat dlm...
peh tuh pagi tadi dia pegi keje tak bitau aku pun...aku bgn lmbt td....cam bese le, mood malas keje time pregnant nie....so, aku bebuat tido time dia tgh siap-siap gi keje tuh.....dia buat xtau pun....slalu kalo dia gi time aku tgh tebungkang, dia mesti dtg kaco aku, gerak aku, picit breast aku sbb dia tau aku akan marah peh tuh bgn.....nie dia buat bodo jerk....peh tuh tak bg pun kiss gud bye....isk...sampai ati dia....
Foot Note : mr hubby aku nie bukan lah pengotor orgnya...cume dia tak diajar dari kecil untuk membuat keje-keje umah ataupun menjadik pro-active before being told to do so....kalo tak soh, mmg dia xkan buat....
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Yesterday....
malam semalam ketika Mr hubby tgh masak nasi goreng.....mr hubby xpandai masak...dia just pandai masak nasi goreng jerk....tp nasi goreng dia kompom sedap.....selagi ade bahan kat dapo tuh, semua dia nak letak...huhu....
ok sambung balik, malam smlm ketika mr hubby tgh masak, aku call mak....sebenanyer da nite before mmg macam nak call mak...tetibe cam rindu pada mak dtg melanda.....tp time tuh tgh malam kan, xkan nak call mak.....time opis xle nak call, sbb kalo nak sembang manje-manje takut bebdk opis nie dengar....so call mlm kat umah....
Me : hellow, assalamualaikum......
Mak : waalaikumsalam......
Me : mak tgh buatpe....
Mak : kat bilik nie....
Me : mak buatpe??
Mak : nie, mak tgh kutip rambut mak yang gugur kat lantai nie.......
currently mak is undergoing a treatment which da effect is kinda similar wif chemotherapy where your hair will start to fall and she will became completely bald.....macam nak luluh jerk jantung dengar jawapan mak....mata dah bergenang...xle nak nangis, sbb kita xle sedey dpn mak....so i just continue da conversation while trying very hard not to let ma tear drop.....
and just now i called mak again....
Me : tgh hari tadi mak makan ape?
Mak : mak tak makan langsung......
Me : nape mak tak makan??
Mak : kepala mak sakit sgt....so mak tido.....
Me : kepala mak masih sakit lg? ingat dah kurang sbb makan ubat.....
Mak : dia sakit sbb nak abis gugurkan rambut mak semua.....
again, ma heart was soo sad to hear that...though da hair will re-grow, yet healthier, thicker and shinier.....(coz previously pun rambut mak penah gugur masak buat treatment breast cancer last time)......but as a women, how do u feel when u crown start to falls bit by bit?????
last time while mak undergoing her chemotherapy treatment for her breast cancer, when delina was still a baby, mak's hair felled and became thinner.....mak always wear anak tudung kat umah....so one day, while she was siting wif delina, da anak tudung accidentally falls, and when delina saw her grandma head without hair, she was freak out and cried......Ya Allah, when i heard that story, i almost cried......but, da story was told by mak dengan muka yg sgt selambe.....
mak is a very-very strong women....it's so hard to see her shed her tears....she once said "alah....nak nangis apenyer....benda yg paling sedih dalam hidup pun mak dah lalui...masa org yg mak paling sayang and kekasih mak meninggal"... she's referring to her husband; my bapak....
this was taken when mak was undergoing her radioterapi treatment for her breast cancer at KL GH....and i just realize that, she celebrated her birthday twice in a hospital...her 56th and 58th.....
ok sambung balik, malam smlm ketika mr hubby tgh masak, aku call mak....sebenanyer da nite before mmg macam nak call mak...tetibe cam rindu pada mak dtg melanda.....tp time tuh tgh malam kan, xkan nak call mak.....time opis xle nak call, sbb kalo nak sembang manje-manje takut bebdk opis nie dengar....so call mlm kat umah....
Me : hellow, assalamualaikum......
Mak : waalaikumsalam......
Me : mak tgh buatpe....
Mak : kat bilik nie....
Me : mak buatpe??
Mak : nie, mak tgh kutip rambut mak yang gugur kat lantai nie.......
currently mak is undergoing a treatment which da effect is kinda similar wif chemotherapy where your hair will start to fall and she will became completely bald.....macam nak luluh jerk jantung dengar jawapan mak....mata dah bergenang...xle nak nangis, sbb kita xle sedey dpn mak....so i just continue da conversation while trying very hard not to let ma tear drop.....
and just now i called mak again....
Me : tgh hari tadi mak makan ape?
Mak : mak tak makan langsung......
Me : nape mak tak makan??
Mak : kepala mak sakit sgt....so mak tido.....
Me : kepala mak masih sakit lg? ingat dah kurang sbb makan ubat.....
Mak : dia sakit sbb nak abis gugurkan rambut mak semua.....
again, ma heart was soo sad to hear that...though da hair will re-grow, yet healthier, thicker and shinier.....(coz previously pun rambut mak penah gugur masak buat treatment breast cancer last time)......but as a women, how do u feel when u crown start to falls bit by bit?????
last time while mak undergoing her chemotherapy treatment for her breast cancer, when delina was still a baby, mak's hair felled and became thinner.....mak always wear anak tudung kat umah....so one day, while she was siting wif delina, da anak tudung accidentally falls, and when delina saw her grandma head without hair, she was freak out and cried......Ya Allah, when i heard that story, i almost cried......but, da story was told by mak dengan muka yg sgt selambe.....
mak is a very-very strong women....it's so hard to see her shed her tears....she once said "alah....nak nangis apenyer....benda yg paling sedih dalam hidup pun mak dah lalui...masa org yg mak paling sayang and kekasih mak meninggal"... she's referring to her husband; my bapak....
this was taken when mak was undergoing her radioterapi treatment for her breast cancer at KL GH....and i just realize that, she celebrated her birthday twice in a hospital...her 56th and 58th.....Tuesday, April 6, 2010
a mother can have thousand daughters, but thousand daughters can only have one mother.....
June 2007
mak was diagnose wif breast cancer...she, who was a very health cautious who will do a fully medical check-up every year, but yet she being diagnosed with women's number 1 enemy....she took food supplementary and jog every weekend...Subhanallah...Allah maha besar...Allah knows better.....
December 2008
mak went to performed her Haj for da 2nd time...she said, this time she's going to be insaf once she's back...huhu....dolu pegi muda and memain....bole plak kan???
February 2010
mak got constant headache...it happened 1 to 2 weeks after my wedding....she thought it was just a normal migraine...so she just rest and took panadol....which she was not really a fan of it....and sometimes, ppl like to send or attack her wif black magic...yeah, we experienced it several times....i'm not saying it exist and i'm believing it, it's just Allah maha berkuasa...Allah mampu mencipta ape pun makhluk didunia ini....
17th March 2010
mak went to Ipoh General Hospital to check bout her headache....coz she couldn't eat...when ever she consume anything, she'll vomit...but da thing was, she didn't eat anything, so she only vomit air and kahak....at government hospital, so they just took blood pressure:OK, glucose:OK, cholesterol:OK..everything was OK....but she's still in pain....
20th March 2010
me and mr hubby went back to Ipoh...to celebrate mak's birthday...at this time, mak was very sick...she couldn't get off of her bed....so, as an only daughter and da dearest to her, i feed her and stay by her....
23rd March 2010
her severe headache is unbearable by her....so she went to Ipoh GH again, this time to emergency....they did a CT Scan....again da blood pressure, glucose and cholesterol check...again, they said it was nothing....they said mak got FOOD POISONING!!!... that's why she keep on vomiting...wut da fuck doctor...food poisoning kat kepala ker??? macam haram...
and abang (my eldest brother) decided to take her to Pantai Hospital Ipoh....she did MRI Scan.... and that was when we found out bout her pain....previously her breast cancer limp node was under her arm pit...and through the MRI scan, doctor rectified that the cancer cells have spread to behind her neck and her head.....owh....wut a devastating news for me...i was in KL....
Innalillah hiwainna ilaihirajiun....da doctor said, no operation shud be done...coz it may effect her vision and speech coz da cancer is at her nerve...da doctor prescribe mak for Radiotherapy treatment....
24th March 2010
i took Emergency Leave today and went back to Ipoh...Mr Hubby took MC, coz he finished his allocated leave....da only hospital in Ipoh with radiotherapy is in Ipoh Specialist....so, we admitted mak to Ipoh specialist....she has no insurance coverage any more coz she had one of the critical illnesses symptom before...so, it's up to her childs which she gave birth and raised all by her self since da last 17 years....mak concern was bout da fee, she was a government pensioner before and she's entitle for 1st class GH treatment...tp, if u've been reading this..u'll think we won't think twice to admit her to GH......
25th March 2010
she undergo her 1st Radiotherapy.....
27th March 2010
Mak celebrated her 58th Birthday on the hospital bed....just like arwah Bapak 18 years ago.....
29th March 2010
mak unconscious after went to the bathroom....she's admitted to ICU.....i went back to Ipoh again with Mr Hubby.....
30th March 2010
Mr Hubby went back to KL early in da morning and head straight to office....i stayed with mak...she's still in ICU....i feed her every single meals and she's been consuming it in a large amount....i brushed her hair and tied her hair neatly....i lotioned her hands and feets...read her newspaper and she was so happy and cheerful...she hasn't been vomiting at all for da 1st time.... and she received a very wonderful news from K Linda (ma 1st sis in-law)....and it was da greatest news for all of us....i even cried wif joy....that evening mak was transfered from ICU to HDU (high dependency Unit)...
31st March 2010
Abang was admitted in da same hospital for his back pain....during her stay in da hospital, several times she mentioned she wanted a bread toast with garlic break spread, and every time i went back, mesti lupa nak buat....but that morning, i made mak vegetable soup....even she didn't want to take hospital's meals coz she was waiting for my soup....sorry mak amy sampai lambat....i was looking for train ticket to KL....system plak bole down that day...damn....i finally arrived at the hospital around 1:00 pm and mak still didn't eat..when i just wanted to feed mak wif lunch, we were chased out from HDU coz it was the nurses changing shift time....at around 4:00pm we were allowed into the room and again i can't feed mak coz mak was in a midst of transferring from HDU to normal ward.....
Finally when she settled down at her normal ward, it was a twin sharing room with abang.....i feed her and she eats a lot....same goes to our cute lil nurse, Delinot (my 1st niece) who has been taking care of mak...she's just 4 years old....she can even hold a bowl for mak to vomit....she rub mak's chest and back when mak vomiting...owh, how pure her heart is....that nite, i took a train back to KL.....
this is da lil nurses attending the patient....
4th April 2010
took my parents in-laws to visit mak...they came to KL from seremban yesterday...stayed one nite at our house...previously, abg smses me saying that mak was so weak coz she couldn't eat....but when i feed her, she eats a lot...abang said, da doctor asked all her sons, daughter, daughters in-law and son in-law to massage her...belai her with love....so, i massage her thighs, massage her hands with lotion.....stretch her arms....massage her back...well, i have a healing hand in massaging....huhu.....i brushed her hair....lotioned her feet....and it was so hard and heavy for me to leave her that day....she looks happy and cheerful....
kesian, she was soo tired....this is when mak was in ICU...she's been crying coz she wanted to see mak..mak's bed was facing the entrace...when ever we open da door, she'll be standing by the entrance and waving at her beloved Opah....but when mak was transfered to HDU, her bed was not facing da entrace nemore, so we asked permission from nurse to smuggle her in...she came in quietly, hug and kisses mak, then she left...
when i first heard bout her sickness, i thought to myself...."Ya Allah, aku blum rela untuk melepaskan mak aku pergi....aku belum bersedia untuk hidup tanpa mak....i wanted her to see my child....i want to celebrate my 1st raya as a wife with her.....i want to lean on her....lie on her lap....sleep beside her while hugging her thightly.... kiss her always...."
but when i see her condition, i thought to myself "Ya Allah, aku rela jika masa ibu ku sudah tiba... aku sudah tak sanggup melihat dia tersiksa...jika itu yg terbaik, aku redha...."
but mak said, she asked doctor "doctor, saya nie nak mati dah ker?" and da doctor said, "tak makcik, Insyaallah nyawa makcik panjang lagi"......and mak also said to me "Mak nak tgk anak K Linda dan anak kamu".....
up to yesterday, her medical and hospitalization fees was almost 20K.....and i dunno how da heck i'm gonna pay my part (we're going to share between 3 of us)....i was not even married for 2 months, which i paid everything for my wedding, we just moved in to new house....i haven't even settled down....but, that's called Qada' & Qadar and dugaan dr Allah....again, Allah xkan menguji hambanya jika Dia tahu hambanya tak mampu menanggung ujian tersebut.....
and until this time, she is still in hospital....all of you, please doa for my mom...doakan semoga dia cepat sehat and semoga dia sempat bermain dengan anak aku (and no, i'm not pregnant yet)....
mak was diagnose wif breast cancer...she, who was a very health cautious who will do a fully medical check-up every year, but yet she being diagnosed with women's number 1 enemy....she took food supplementary and jog every weekend...Subhanallah...Allah maha besar...Allah knows better.....
December 2008
mak went to performed her Haj for da 2nd time...she said, this time she's going to be insaf once she's back...huhu....dolu pegi muda and memain....bole plak kan???
February 2010
mak got constant headache...it happened 1 to 2 weeks after my wedding....she thought it was just a normal migraine...so she just rest and took panadol....which she was not really a fan of it....and sometimes, ppl like to send or attack her wif black magic...yeah, we experienced it several times....i'm not saying it exist and i'm believing it, it's just Allah maha berkuasa...Allah mampu mencipta ape pun makhluk didunia ini....
17th March 2010
mak went to Ipoh General Hospital to check bout her headache....coz she couldn't eat...when ever she consume anything, she'll vomit...but da thing was, she didn't eat anything, so she only vomit air and kahak....at government hospital, so they just took blood pressure:OK, glucose:OK, cholesterol:OK..everything was OK....but she's still in pain....
20th March 2010
me and mr hubby went back to Ipoh...to celebrate mak's birthday...at this time, mak was very sick...she couldn't get off of her bed....so, as an only daughter and da dearest to her, i feed her and stay by her....
23rd March 2010
her severe headache is unbearable by her....so she went to Ipoh GH again, this time to emergency....they did a CT Scan....again da blood pressure, glucose and cholesterol check...again, they said it was nothing....they said mak got FOOD POISONING!!!... that's why she keep on vomiting...wut da fuck doctor...food poisoning kat kepala ker??? macam haram...
and abang (my eldest brother) decided to take her to Pantai Hospital Ipoh....she did MRI Scan.... and that was when we found out bout her pain....previously her breast cancer limp node was under her arm pit...and through the MRI scan, doctor rectified that the cancer cells have spread to behind her neck and her head.....owh....wut a devastating news for me...i was in KL....
Innalillah hiwainna ilaihirajiun....da doctor said, no operation shud be done...coz it may effect her vision and speech coz da cancer is at her nerve...da doctor prescribe mak for Radiotherapy treatment....
24th March 2010
i took Emergency Leave today and went back to Ipoh...Mr Hubby took MC, coz he finished his allocated leave....da only hospital in Ipoh with radiotherapy is in Ipoh Specialist....so, we admitted mak to Ipoh specialist....she has no insurance coverage any more coz she had one of the critical illnesses symptom before...so, it's up to her childs which she gave birth and raised all by her self since da last 17 years....mak concern was bout da fee, she was a government pensioner before and she's entitle for 1st class GH treatment...tp, if u've been reading this..u'll think we won't think twice to admit her to GH......
25th March 2010
she undergo her 1st Radiotherapy.....
27th March 2010
Mak celebrated her 58th Birthday on the hospital bed....just like arwah Bapak 18 years ago.....
29th March 2010
mak unconscious after went to the bathroom....she's admitted to ICU.....i went back to Ipoh again with Mr Hubby.....
30th March 2010
Mr Hubby went back to KL early in da morning and head straight to office....i stayed with mak...she's still in ICU....i feed her every single meals and she's been consuming it in a large amount....i brushed her hair and tied her hair neatly....i lotioned her hands and feets...read her newspaper and she was so happy and cheerful...she hasn't been vomiting at all for da 1st time.... and she received a very wonderful news from K Linda (ma 1st sis in-law)....and it was da greatest news for all of us....i even cried wif joy....that evening mak was transfered from ICU to HDU (high dependency Unit)...
31st March 2010
Abang was admitted in da same hospital for his back pain....during her stay in da hospital, several times she mentioned she wanted a bread toast with garlic break spread, and every time i went back, mesti lupa nak buat....but that morning, i made mak vegetable soup....even she didn't want to take hospital's meals coz she was waiting for my soup....sorry mak amy sampai lambat....i was looking for train ticket to KL....system plak bole down that day...damn....i finally arrived at the hospital around 1:00 pm and mak still didn't eat..when i just wanted to feed mak wif lunch, we were chased out from HDU coz it was the nurses changing shift time....at around 4:00pm we were allowed into the room and again i can't feed mak coz mak was in a midst of transferring from HDU to normal ward.....
Finally when she settled down at her normal ward, it was a twin sharing room with abang.....i feed her and she eats a lot....same goes to our cute lil nurse, Delinot (my 1st niece) who has been taking care of mak...she's just 4 years old....she can even hold a bowl for mak to vomit....she rub mak's chest and back when mak vomiting...owh, how pure her heart is....that nite, i took a train back to KL.....
this is da lil nurses attending the patient....4th April 2010
took my parents in-laws to visit mak...they came to KL from seremban yesterday...stayed one nite at our house...previously, abg smses me saying that mak was so weak coz she couldn't eat....but when i feed her, she eats a lot...abang said, da doctor asked all her sons, daughter, daughters in-law and son in-law to massage her...belai her with love....so, i massage her thighs, massage her hands with lotion.....stretch her arms....massage her back...well, i have a healing hand in massaging....huhu.....i brushed her hair....lotioned her feet....and it was so hard and heavy for me to leave her that day....she looks happy and cheerful....
kesian, she was soo tired....this is when mak was in ICU...she's been crying coz she wanted to see mak..mak's bed was facing the entrace...when ever we open da door, she'll be standing by the entrance and waving at her beloved Opah....but when mak was transfered to HDU, her bed was not facing da entrace nemore, so we asked permission from nurse to smuggle her in...she came in quietly, hug and kisses mak, then she left...when i first heard bout her sickness, i thought to myself...."Ya Allah, aku blum rela untuk melepaskan mak aku pergi....aku belum bersedia untuk hidup tanpa mak....i wanted her to see my child....i want to celebrate my 1st raya as a wife with her.....i want to lean on her....lie on her lap....sleep beside her while hugging her thightly.... kiss her always...."
but when i see her condition, i thought to myself "Ya Allah, aku rela jika masa ibu ku sudah tiba... aku sudah tak sanggup melihat dia tersiksa...jika itu yg terbaik, aku redha...."
but mak said, she asked doctor "doctor, saya nie nak mati dah ker?" and da doctor said, "tak makcik, Insyaallah nyawa makcik panjang lagi"......and mak also said to me "Mak nak tgk anak K Linda dan anak kamu".....
up to yesterday, her medical and hospitalization fees was almost 20K.....and i dunno how da heck i'm gonna pay my part (we're going to share between 3 of us)....i was not even married for 2 months, which i paid everything for my wedding, we just moved in to new house....i haven't even settled down....but, that's called Qada' & Qadar and dugaan dr Allah....again, Allah xkan menguji hambanya jika Dia tahu hambanya tak mampu menanggung ujian tersebut.....
and until this time, she is still in hospital....all of you, please doa for my mom...doakan semoga dia cepat sehat and semoga dia sempat bermain dengan anak aku (and no, i'm not pregnant yet)....
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Valetine....
yesterday we watched our 1st movie together as a hubby and wifey.....we did watched movie after our wed, but that was wif my mom's foster kids...so, yesterday was our 1st movie date as hubby and wifey....
the movie dat we watched was Valentine's Day....the movie was nice....it's funny and of course i cried..during which part i can't remember....i kan ratu air mata....it's romantic, funny and entertaining.....
so, on 14th Feb of every year, everyone's celebrating Valentine, but we...celebrate our anniversary....
after the movie i asked hubby, "wut did we do during valentine??" he replied wif a smile "we got married on valentine..."
the movie dat we watched was Valentine's Day....the movie was nice....it's funny and of course i cried..during which part i can't remember....i kan ratu air mata....it's romantic, funny and entertaining.....
so, on 14th Feb of every year, everyone's celebrating Valentine, but we...celebrate our anniversary....
after the movie i asked hubby, "wut did we do during valentine??" he replied wif a smile "we got married on valentine..."
Friday, February 12, 2010
LUSA???!!!!!
lusa ker??? betul ker??hari nie dah 12 feb?? salah calendar kot...kalendar nie silap kire....patutnyer hari nie baru 1 January....huhuhu...macam tak caya jerk...in 2 days time, i'll be Mrs Hafeezie....
no more mak lil gurl....and no more bancik and abang lil sister....dah xle nak manja2 ngan mak....dah xle nak merengek2 ngan mak....dah xle nak tido ngan mak...isk...isk.... dah xle nak manja2 ngan bancik and abg...xle nak soh derang buat memacam dah....no more my family lil gurl...i am a very manja child....i've been the only daughter and i'm the youngest....i didn't realize that i was manja until feezie says i am when he came back a few time to our house...and not only him, Ellia, my besties for 14 years, who knows me as an independent gurl, garang and strict, admit that i'm manja with my mak.....dunno....for me biasa jerk....they said the way i talk, the way i call mak and the way mak treat me....huhu....
aku dah besar rupenyer....dah dewasa...i'm a lady now....time flies really fast....yesterday i was someone's lil daughter and lil sister...and now, i'm going to be someone's wifey....more responsibilities, more toleration, more give and take, no more thinking bout myself, no more care less......will i be the wife who'll open a door to heaven for my husband?? or be a wife who'll drag my husband to hell???
will i be a gud wife??will i make my husband hepi?? will he still love me till the rest of our lives?? will i??? only time will tell....sanggupkah aku beraya selain dari dgn my family??without mak around??? i once had a dream, 1st raya kat umah feezie, and i cried da whole day....xnak!!xnak!! nak raya ngan mak tetiap tahun...nak ade dgn mak on morning of every raya...as long as she still lives...now, i will move to another house...syurga bukan lagi bawah tapak kaki mak...
how i wish my dad will be here...how i wish my dad yg akan nikahkan aku...but things happened as it is...that's Allah promises....maybe if my dad is still around, i won't even met fizi...everything happens for a reason.....
"Ya Allah ya tuhanku, ko jadikanlah majlis ku ini majlis yang sempurna, diberkati dan dirahmati olehMu ya Allah...ko berikanlah kesenangan, keselesaan dan kegembiraan pada para hadirin, kaum keluarga, sanak saudara, jiran tetangga dan semua yang hadir dan menjayakan majlis ini Ya Allah...Ya Allah, ko jadikanlah hari tersebut cerah, selesa dan tidak hujan...ko jadikanlah para hadirin yang datang pulang dengan kesenangan dan kegembiraan...Ya Allah ya tuhan ku, sesungguhnya ko maha pengasih dan maha penyayang...Engkau maha memahami dan maha mengetahui.... "
this might be my last post as a single lady...but one thing for sure, i will always be mak's lil gurl and abang and bancik lil sister....
no more mak lil gurl....and no more bancik and abang lil sister....dah xle nak manja2 ngan mak....dah xle nak merengek2 ngan mak....dah xle nak tido ngan mak...isk...isk.... dah xle nak manja2 ngan bancik and abg...xle nak soh derang buat memacam dah....no more my family lil gurl...i am a very manja child....i've been the only daughter and i'm the youngest....i didn't realize that i was manja until feezie says i am when he came back a few time to our house...and not only him, Ellia, my besties for 14 years, who knows me as an independent gurl, garang and strict, admit that i'm manja with my mak.....dunno....for me biasa jerk....they said the way i talk, the way i call mak and the way mak treat me....huhu....
aku dah besar rupenyer....dah dewasa...i'm a lady now....time flies really fast....yesterday i was someone's lil daughter and lil sister...and now, i'm going to be someone's wifey....more responsibilities, more toleration, more give and take, no more thinking bout myself, no more care less......will i be the wife who'll open a door to heaven for my husband?? or be a wife who'll drag my husband to hell???
will i be a gud wife??will i make my husband hepi?? will he still love me till the rest of our lives?? will i??? only time will tell....sanggupkah aku beraya selain dari dgn my family??without mak around??? i once had a dream, 1st raya kat umah feezie, and i cried da whole day....xnak!!xnak!! nak raya ngan mak tetiap tahun...nak ade dgn mak on morning of every raya...as long as she still lives...now, i will move to another house...syurga bukan lagi bawah tapak kaki mak...
how i wish my dad will be here...how i wish my dad yg akan nikahkan aku...but things happened as it is...that's Allah promises....maybe if my dad is still around, i won't even met fizi...everything happens for a reason.....
"Ya Allah ya tuhanku, ko jadikanlah majlis ku ini majlis yang sempurna, diberkati dan dirahmati olehMu ya Allah...ko berikanlah kesenangan, keselesaan dan kegembiraan pada para hadirin, kaum keluarga, sanak saudara, jiran tetangga dan semua yang hadir dan menjayakan majlis ini Ya Allah...Ya Allah, ko jadikanlah hari tersebut cerah, selesa dan tidak hujan...ko jadikanlah para hadirin yang datang pulang dengan kesenangan dan kegembiraan...Ya Allah ya tuhan ku, sesungguhnya ko maha pengasih dan maha penyayang...Engkau maha memahami dan maha mengetahui.... "
this might be my last post as a single lady...but one thing for sure, i will always be mak's lil gurl and abang and bancik lil sister....
Monday, November 9, 2009
MALAS
hari ni bgn je tido tetibe perasaan sgt le malas nak pegi keje....xtau le nape...xde perasaan langsung nak keje...so sms k siti and tuan haji ckp xdtg keje sbb sakit pale....huhu...kalo dah kepala berat nak bgn, it is actually equal to headache kan???
sambung tido balik sampai kol 11 pagi...wah, sgt besh...tp bile dah dok umah ni buhsan le plak...nasib baek le ade laptop company and broadband which i borrrowed for a weekend...hehe, so sambil doing laundry, ngadap facebook while watching astro....wah, i'm soo multi tasker..still doing 2 round of laundry walaupun hujan yang sgt lebat kat luar...rumah sgt gelap nie sbb hujan lebat....luckily da rain doesn't effect the astro...kalo tak lagi mati kutu le aku...
sebenanyer staying alone at home is not a fun thing to do...tp getting ready to work and stuck in a jem are the worst thing to face....demn...baru jerk sebut pasal astro tak effect during hujan...terus service currently not available plak....xle nak puji ckit pun....
argghhh...nak kuar gi clinic amik mc hujan plak tak berenti-renti....so el le jawapnyer aku hari nie..nasib baek le cuti aku bnyk lagik...ade lg 15 hari...huhuhuh...sape plak masak cucur ptg2 nie...dah le ma favourite snack is cucur bawang...nak buat cucur bawang, ingredients plak tak cukup...isk...
sambung tido balik sampai kol 11 pagi...wah, sgt besh...tp bile dah dok umah ni buhsan le plak...nasib baek le ade laptop company and broadband which i borrrowed for a weekend...hehe, so sambil doing laundry, ngadap facebook while watching astro....wah, i'm soo multi tasker..still doing 2 round of laundry walaupun hujan yang sgt lebat kat luar...rumah sgt gelap nie sbb hujan lebat....luckily da rain doesn't effect the astro...kalo tak lagi mati kutu le aku...
sebenanyer staying alone at home is not a fun thing to do...tp getting ready to work and stuck in a jem are the worst thing to face....demn...baru jerk sebut pasal astro tak effect during hujan...terus service currently not available plak....xle nak puji ckit pun....
argghhh...nak kuar gi clinic amik mc hujan plak tak berenti-renti....so el le jawapnyer aku hari nie..nasib baek le cuti aku bnyk lagik...ade lg 15 hari...huhuhuh...sape plak masak cucur ptg2 nie...dah le ma favourite snack is cucur bawang...nak buat cucur bawang, ingredients plak tak cukup...isk...
Thursday, November 5, 2009
LOST...
i think i'm lost...
i dunno wut else to do....wut's next and wut i've done and completed....it's just another 100 days....
bole tak kalo cam nak postpone??huhu....feels like there's lotsa thing need to be done....and sumtimes i had a feeling that i've done everything...
isk...kompius...ape lg nie...?? checklist punyer bnyk sampai dah terkompius...kat diary ratu sehari ade, kata my wed scrapbook pun ade, kat excell pc nie pun ade...huhu...xtau mana satu yg betul dan tepat...i think i need to list down one by one again........
i dunno wut else to do....wut's next and wut i've done and completed....it's just another 100 days....
bole tak kalo cam nak postpone??huhu....feels like there's lotsa thing need to be done....and sumtimes i had a feeling that i've done everything...
isk...kompius...ape lg nie...?? checklist punyer bnyk sampai dah terkompius...kat diary ratu sehari ade, kata my wed scrapbook pun ade, kat excell pc nie pun ade...huhu...xtau mana satu yg betul dan tepat...i think i need to list down one by one again........
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