29th June 2010 9:30pm

i went to work as normal...almost a week i left da office...as i was discussing with Tuan Haji, my boss, i received phone call from bancik, my elder brother....he said, "tadi nurse call..dia ckp mak sesak nafas...kene pakai bantuan oksigen...so, dia soh anak2 semua dtg la...."..i'm still cool when we hunged up....then i told haji that i have to go back to ipoh and told him bout mak's condition...

got home, pack our cloth...mr hubby has to pack his own cloth today....then we headed straight to Ipoh....Alhamdulillah la i just got ma salary that time...bole le balik....mr hubby drive half way, i drive half way...coz mr hubby stayed up previous nite watching football....still, i didn't even shed a tears and still remain calm....i keep on saying to my self, if it's time, then i'm redha.....

i arrived in ipoh at around 1:00 pm..dropped mr hubby at Silibin's house to help bancik kemas rumah..at dat time, derang tgh tebas pokok2 kat laman, and susun perabot dlm rumah to make space for mak to arrive later that afternoon.....we planned to let mak rest at the dining hall instead of back room...then i head to hospital....

mak in hdu (high dependency unit)....k linda (SIL) is packing mak's stuffs...her eyes puffed due to crying...and she still crying..abang (my eldest brother) keep on saying shahadah to mak's ears.....mak was unconscious at that time...she breath heavily through oxygen mask....bila dia bernafas, macam tercungap ckit.....i hold her hand and i said to her ears, "mak...nie amy..." no response...then i said shahadah to her ears....then again i said "mak, nie amy nie..."...again no response....at this time, i cried...abang went to settle da bill and her discharge....

at around 3:00pm, she's ready for discharge....da ambulance have to take her home and abang went together in da ambulance...me and K linda drive home separately ....we place mak at da dining hall....everything was ready...all da furniture has been cleared out for da tahlil later after Asar....

many people had gathered...mak's younder brothers and sister pun dah berkumpul except anjang and andak....opah, da jiranita (da ladies in our neighborhood form this jiranita club) , some of our relatives who stayed nearby...even from distance is already here....one thing about mak that all of our relatives acknowledge was, she likes to visit people..not just hari raya, but when ever she's somewhere and there's a relative staying nearby, she will go and visit them....or when ever she felt that it has been awhile that she haven't meet them, she will go to their house....most of da relatives that we know and visit, sebenanyer sedara yang sgt jauh...bau-bau bacang je pun...

after asar, there's tahlil....and a lot of people baca yassin....pak mujib and K sal's (SIL) ustazah advice us to read surah ar-ru'du....little that we know yang surah tu untuk mendoakan semoga dipermudahkan pemergiannya....when ever i seat beside mak untuk mengaji, i will hold and squeezed her hand....

people come and go....that nite, we didn't cook...beli makan je....lepas isya' baru makan....and masa aku bz ke hulu ke hilir, someone asked me "suami kamu dah makan ker?"...then i replied "nie tgh nak siapkan le nie"....then she said, "adun dia, suami kamu tuh.."....masa aku pas mkn kat mr hubby kat depan, K Linda said to me..."nape mak bernafas macam dah tak tercungap jerk?"...i went, "ye ke? nnt amy gi tgk sat"...i thought to myself, pas amikkan kuewtiau mr hubby, nak gi tgk mak le....after i passed da kuewtiau to mr hubby, i went to see mak....i saw k linda dah menangis teresak dah....org dah gather around....i come nearer....abg tgh check mak's pulse kat tengkuk....abg ckp dah xde heartbeat....K linda plak check, she said ade heartbeat but very2 slow....i plak check kat tgn....couldn't feel any....then abg suruh bancik panggil our neighbor, doctor at GH....K linda check again, she said ade....since macam semua pun xde jawapan yg sahih, we just wait for the doctor....

dgn kehendak Allah, da doctor was not on-call that nite...he and his wife came....his wife is also a doctor in GH...he tried to check for mak's heart beat, but there's no any....he check her eyes..then he took out his stethoscope...he paused and turned to abg, and slowly he said "dah takde dah"....abg terus ckp "Al-Fatihah"....straight away i heard abg teresak...K linda pun mmg dah teresak....aku lg la....

aku sangat bersyukur Al-hamdulillah pemergian mak mmg mudah sbb:

1. dr tercungap, she breath slowly then it stop just like that....
2. our neighbor yg doctor tu pun, kebetulan on leave that nite....so, he and his wife help us to take of da oxygen, tube makan and tube kencing mak....he remove da plaster on her skin....yg mmg we dun even noe how to do....
3. and i dun even realize, when my ustazah rubiah arrived...she was my ustazah way back when i was in standard 4...but we often meet at masjid....she was da one who thought me to put an oil at all of mak sendi....lutut, siku, bahu, pinggul, ankle...dia ckp supaya senang masa mandikan jenazah....
4. Alhamdulillah jugak at that time, Allah beri aku kekuatan untuk tak menangis and manage to do all that....ustazah mintak kain putih untuk ikat bawah dagu, supaya mulut mak tetutup rapat....ikat pergelangan kaki dan kedua ibu jari kaki supaya rapat....ikat pergelangan tangan macam masa solat....i removed her cloth, and replace wif mak's favourite kain batek lepas....which she often wear to wedding wif her favourite baju kurung...ambik selendang putih (this selendang she usually wear wif her UMNO uniform) to cover her face.....then we place her mengadap kiblat.....

just 1/2 hour ago i sent sms to my close friend informing them bout mak's condition and asked them to doakan yang terbaik untuk mak.....lepas dah selesai adunkan mak, i sms all my close frens again to tell them bout da news and asked them to spread da news....thanks sha, azrina and Tuan Haji for spreading da news....

malam tu bergilir-gilir org baca yassin...i went up to bed sbb mmg dah tak larat....we drove from KL and i'm almost 4 months pregnant....so mmg tenaga tuh tak bnyk compared to tak mengandung....next morning i woke up at around 6:00 am and went down lepas celik jerk mata...i saw Wan Ya (my late father's cousin whom mak was very close to, she came all da way from Tmn Melawati to nurse my mom...but turn out she's there for her funurel) is awake and tgh nak solat subuh....i went to mak, selak da white selendang which is covering her face, i kissed her...she looks like she's sleeping, so calm....i know because i often drop in mak's room at nite while she was a sleep to give a kiss on her cheek.....then i went up to mandi and solat subuh...

at 9:00 am, qariah wanita masjid yg nak menguruskan jenazah mak sampai....masa nak mandikan mak, k linda nak masuk mandikan sekali, then makcik tuh cakap, "kalo bole, yang mengandung xpayah le masuk"...then mak anjang, mak's SIL said "tapi kak, anak menantu semua tgh mengandung"...makcik tuh reply "takpelah kalo mcm tuh...." masa mandikan, dalam tuh ade 3 org qariah masjid, k linda, mak anjang and me......only Allah knows how i felt at that moment...mandikan jenazah mak sendiri....air mata jgn ckp le....mmg meleleh...mak anjang sampai kene bukak spec sbb cermin tuh dah blur dgn air mata...dan Al-hamdulillah, again Allah beri kekuatan for me to be strong, tak menangis sepanjang masa.....half way, Auntine Madinah, one of mak close friend came in and help....mmg mudah nak mandikan mak...masa pusingkan jenazah pun, mudah jerk...and still, mak looks like she's asleep....so calm...

i help all da way from mandikan sampailah menkafankan.....mak dipakaikan kain solat, baju macam baju kurung kedah tapi long sleeves....dalam tuh dilapiskan dgn cotton....then dipakaikan telekung, pastuh balut dgn 3 lapisan kain putih....setiap selang kain putih tuh, ditabur kapur barus, minyak atar and serbuk kuning not sure wut it is...baju & telekung tak berjahit...ikat jerk between each end...Alhamdulillah, Allah beri juga kekuatan supaya aku tak menangis....walhal aku nie mmglah ratu air mata....tgk Monster Inc 5x pun, 5-5 kali aku nangis.....tp, at that moment, Allah beri aku kekuatan....

makcik yang mandikan mak tuh panggil sesiapa yang nak cium mak untuk kali terakhir....semua adik-adik mak and adik ipar cium kecuali anjang...we couldn't find him.....some of my cousins, mak's close fren....even mr hubby kissed mak....abg said, he cried after he kissed mak....and me da last person to kiss her.....time nie air mata mmg dah xleh tahan...i cried of course...knowing that will be da last time i'm gonna kiss her....solatkan...then took her to masjid tuk org qariah masjid solatkan jenazah lg skalik....then pengkebumian di gurap......again masa jirus air atas kubur mak, i cried....

mak pergi menemui Allah....to be together with the men she loves the most....for 17 years she lives wif her husband, and for 17 years she lives without him....it's time for her to go....regardless of all this, aku sangat bersyukur pada Allah sbb sakit mak tak lama, mak tak sedarkan diri pun tak lama, permergian mak dipermudahkan dan kami dibantu oleh jiran yg jugak doctor dan ustazah aku.....process memandikan, mekafankan dan mengkebumikan jenazah pun cepat dan mudah.....

Ya Allah, ko peliharalah ibuku seperti mana dia mempelihara orang-orang yang disayanginya....ringankanlah seksa kuburnya dan tempatkanlah dia dikalangan org2 yg beriman.....