How will you be if.....???

we had this news last week.....it was last Tuesday....
when we were chilling in front of tv.....it was at nite...mr hubby got this sms......mentioning one of his former staff' husband had just past away earlier that day.....i noe this gurl....i noe most of his staffs and colleagues coz i went to a few event wif them.....mr hubby went, "eh, u kenal kan aizam?" i said "kenal" and i can still remember how she looks like....she's from sitiawan....she quit from TMC and went to KPLI....then she met Ellia, my BFF.....she's an English teacher now....i asked mr hubby, "kenapa?"....mr hubby then went "i dpt sms nie ckp husband dia meninggal pagi tadi," i was like so damn shocked....."tp i xtau le nie no sape yg sms i"....then i insist him to call that number....and it was siti's...his team manager....

siti said, everything was ok when he left for work...once he arrived at his office, he collapsed and unconscious.....took him to hospital, and he passed away....they said it was heart failure.....he's a marine in Lumut....wut really touched me was, "wasn't they just got married exactly after us? somewhere in March?"......i believed that her wedding henna is still on her fingers....even me, married exactly 4 months on this date, i still have my wedding henna on my fingers.....

just imagine, henna is still on her fingers, where ever she goes people will still keep on saying "newly wed couple".....still getting to noe each other....just getting to be comfortable wif each other....how owh how on earth she felt....i cried when i got da news....and today when i visited her facebook, again i cried.....i was thinking, she still have her wedding photo on her profile picture....how will i ever be if i am in her shoes......and today, her status was "A part of u has grown in me, together forever we shall be, never apart, maybe in distance, but not in the heart. We only part to meet again"...that's wut really touched my heart.....we was not even close, we spoke once when we meet...but i do visited her facebook few times....

imagining having a long distance wedding is even hard for me....but to imagine that u lost ur husband when ur marriage is just 3 months old....owh....couldn't come to even think bout it let alone to imagine bout it...... i've got an idea of how life would be when ppl lost a husband, coz my mom was a widower when she was 41 after 17 years of marriage....i still noe she misses my dad a lot....coz ur husband is da one that u choose to love and to spend ur life with and to have kids with....so, secretly i'm prepared mentally if somewhere in our marriage, someday not soon but far a long da way, that i might loose mr hubby eventually...but let it be after we were married for 40 years or more.....even that makes me really afraid....coz in my family, both of my grandmas and my mom are a widower........owh....."Ya Allah, kuatkanlah semangat Aizam semoga dia mampu menempuh hidupnya..."

mr hubby's favorite weekend past time.....

my hubby just cannot stay at home during da day.....
like for instant, during da weekend, his most favorite activity in da afternoon at around pass 3:00 pm, he will say to me, "i nak solat jap".....usually we just lazying around and watching tv....so i said ok....

tp.............usually after 45 minutes, he still hasn't come out.....so, i will go to our bedroom to chck him out.....huh!!i knew it...mmg activity favorite dia....masuk blk solat, tgglkan aku tgk tv sorang2....rupenyer dia tgk sedap tebelengkor atas katil....aku mmg suka kaco dia kalo tgh nap nie....slalunyer aku akan jolok bontot dia...hahahaha....jahat kan??? pastuh dia akan kemut....kowang yg baca nie pasal??? gross??? bukan kowang xtau aku nie mmg slumber...hahaha...lgpun, itu kan bontot hubby aku....hahahaha....

our bedroom nie curtain just pakai sheer jerk....pink sheer...saje, bkn ade org nak mengendap pun....lainle kalo binatang2 kat dlm hutan atas bukit blkg umah aku nie nak tgk kan....so mr hubby slalu complain terang le...silau le....jawapan aku, sape soh tido siang...huuhuhuh....slalu dia akan gune beenie tiger yg sai and ellia belikan for my birthday masa form 3 dolu....dia letak cover mata dia....

tp last weekend, dia telah mendapat alternatif lain....which was........

cube tgk dia guna ape tuh buat cover mata dia???.....huhu....creative sungguh....

tak cantek la....!!!

it's Friday bebeh.....yehaa.....
so lunch hour is for 2 hours....from 12:30 pm to 2:30 pm....so after had lunch it's time for window shopping....window shopping jele...sbb kewangan tidak mengizinkan....isk..isk...lgpun cam nak survey2 barang tuk bb....

da great thing bout OU is, they will bundle all da related shop next to each other...so at the top level of old wing, u'll see a row of baby shops...so masuk la aku dari satu kedai ke satu kedai....start wif mothercare....after that pegi le modernmum....hurm....lotsa ppl told me modernmum has a lot of nice maternity cloth....tp aku tgk, da selection is very2 limited and sgt tak menarik hati....eewww....they just have 3 rows of cloth display....

then headed to toys 'r' us...last time i went wif my colleagues, they have this list of "things for your new born baby".....so aku pegi toys 'r' us nie nak mencarik mende tuh le....tp macam dah takde...dolu xde le plak aku nak amik....sbb time tuh, aku still bujang...xtau pun lg bile nak kawen...huhu...lamanyer dah....maknanyer nnt kene google le checklist for the new born things....

then pegi JJ....JJ kat OU nie bnyk ckit choices of maternity cloths compared to JJ Ipoh...huhu....so, aku pun browse through....actually nak beli seluar...mmg le seluar semua muat lg, sbb luckily most of my pants low waist....and again, xde yg chantek pun....sgt tak berkenan.....nape semua baju meternity tak cantek???? haih.....or hormon aku nie menyebabkan aku tgk baju tuh semua tak cantek??

pagi nie pun masa nak gi keje, dok belek kemeja...hurmmm....xde harapan kay nak pakai....tuler, suka lg beli baju body fitting....so, capai baju kurung jerk...and aku pun baru realize yg aku xbnyk baju kurung.....huwarrggghhh...........so aku pun pegi keje dgn memakai kain yg sgt senteng dan tergantung....huhu....and masih pakai wedges 3.5 inches.....hahaha....so lg obvious kesentengannya.....officemate aku kata, sgt buruk.....but wut to do, kene pakai kain bawah bra line....kalo tak perut senak....

so, kesimpulan yg aku dpt buat ialah, maternity cloths mmg tak cantek....so time pregnant mcm tak bole nak bergaya baju cantek-cantek...huh!!!

It's 12 weeks bebeh!!!

yela...yela....sbb cam xnak mengeciwakan pembaca setia blog aku nie...walaupun hakikatnye, derang jele yg sudi membaca blog aku.....sooooooooooooooooooo, aku update le walaupun setelah nak dkt sebln gak le tak update.....yele, dr citer pasal 9 weeks, tetibe hari nie dah jadik 12 weeks...lgpun mmg aku block pun blog nie dari search engine....just close fren jerk yg tau.....tuh sbb follower aku ade 5 org jerk...hahaha....sedih and pathetic....

sebenanyer aku bukak jerk blog nie hehari....sbb aku nak baca update blog2 org lain and aku nak tau how far a long is my pregnancy....sbb kekadang aku cam xingat dah bape minggu....lgpun aku nak tgk baby kecik kat sblh kiri tuh berpusing-pusing.....aku nak bayangkan besa mana le anak aku dlm perut nie.....ape le agaknya dia tgh buat kat dlm tuh....selesa ke dia dok dlm tuh...huhu....

sok aku 12 weeks....equal to 3 months.....slalunyer masuk 3rd month nie, dah bole le mewar-warkan pasal pregnancy nie....sbb da possibility tuk miscarriage tuh cam dah kurang.....and aku pun hari nie macam nak terkejut ckit sbb aku tgk perut nie mcm tetibe je plak beso giler....bulat semacam plak...tp dia beso and bulat kat bawah breast....bukan kat bahagian rahim....huhu....so aku tgh nak carik image pompuan pregnant at her 3rd month...betul ke buncit nie baby or adekah kerana lemak-lemak yg mmg dah ade kat ctu sejak azali??? hari nie nasib baik aku gi keje pakai baju kurung....so aku pakai kain betul2 bawah bra line aku....muahahaha....tinggi giler siot....kalah mat sentul pakai seluar....Your baby's face is beginning to look more human, even though she is only about 2 inches/5.5cms long from her crown to her rump and weighs slightly less than 14 grams. The eyes, which started out on the sides of the head, have moved closer together. The ears are almost in their normal position on the side of the head. The liver is making bile and the kidneys are secreting urine in the bladder...huh...kencing dlm perut mommy erk??

The fetus squirms if your abdomen is prodded, although you cannot yet feel movement. Fetal nerve cells have been multiplying rapidly and synapses (neurological connections in your brain) are forming. The fetus has acquired more reflexes: touching the palms makes the fingers close, touching the soles of the feet makes the toes curl down and touching the eyelids makes the eye muscles clench...so cute....

esok macam nak ajak mr hubby pegi scan...huhu...sbb 12th week dah bole scan....xyah le scan ikut bawah lagi dah.....dah bole scan cam slalu kita tgk dlm tv tuh......