a mother can have thousand daughters, but thousand daughters can only have one mother.....

June 2007
mak was diagnose wif breast cancer...she, who was a very health cautious who will do a fully medical check-up every year, but yet she being diagnosed with women's number 1 enemy....she took food supplementary and jog every weekend...Subhanallah...Allah maha besar...Allah knows better.....

December 2008
mak went to performed her Haj for da 2nd time...she said, this time she's going to be insaf once she's back...huhu....dolu pegi muda and memain....bole plak kan???

February 2010
mak got constant headache...it happened 1 to 2 weeks after my wedding....she thought it was just a normal migraine...so she just rest and took panadol....which she was not really a fan of it....and sometimes, ppl like to send or attack her wif black magic...yeah, we experienced it several times....i'm not saying it exist and i'm believing it, it's just Allah maha berkuasa...Allah mampu mencipta ape pun makhluk didunia ini....

17th March 2010
mak went to Ipoh General Hospital to check bout her headache....coz she couldn't eat...when ever she consume anything, she'll vomit...but da thing was, she didn't eat anything, so she only vomit air and kahak....at government hospital, so they just took blood pressure:OK, glucose:OK, cholesterol:OK..everything was OK....but she's still in pain....

20th March 2010
me and mr hubby went back to Ipoh...to celebrate mak's birthday...at this time, mak was very sick...she couldn't get off of her bed....so, as an only daughter and da dearest to her, i feed her and stay by her....

23rd March 2010
her severe headache is unbearable by her....so she went to Ipoh GH again, this time to emergency....they did a CT Scan....again da blood pressure, glucose and cholesterol check...again, they said it was nothing....they said mak got FOOD POISONING!!!... that's why she keep on vomiting...wut da fuck doctor...food poisoning kat kepala ker??? macam haram...
and abang (my eldest brother) decided to take her to Pantai Hospital Ipoh....she did MRI Scan.... and that was when we found out bout her pain....previously her breast cancer limp node was under her arm pit...and through the MRI scan, doctor rectified that the cancer cells have spread to behind her neck and her head.....owh....wut a devastating news for me...i was in KL....
Innalillah hiwainna ilaihirajiun....da doctor said, no operation shud be done...coz it may effect her vision and speech coz da cancer is at her nerve...da doctor prescribe mak for Radiotherapy treatment....

24th March 2010
i took Emergency Leave today and went back to Ipoh...Mr Hubby took MC, coz he finished his allocated leave....da only hospital in Ipoh with radiotherapy is in Ipoh Specialist....so, we admitted mak to Ipoh specialist....she has no insurance coverage any more coz she had one of the critical illnesses symptom before...so, it's up to her childs which she gave birth and raised all by her self since da last 17 years....mak concern was bout da fee, she was a government pensioner before and she's entitle for 1st class GH treatment...tp, if u've been reading this..u'll think we won't think twice to admit her to GH......

25th March 2010
she undergo her 1st Radiotherapy.....

27th March 2010
Mak celebrated her 58th Birthday on the hospital bed....just like arwah Bapak 18 years ago.....

29th March 2010
mak unconscious after went to the bathroom....she's admitted to ICU.....i went back to Ipoh again with Mr Hubby.....

30th March 2010
Mr Hubby went back to KL early in da morning and head straight to office....i stayed with mak...she's still in ICU....i feed her every single meals and she's been consuming it in a large amount....i brushed her hair and tied her hair neatly....i lotioned her hands and feets...read her newspaper and she was so happy and cheerful...she hasn't been vomiting at all for da 1st time.... and she received a very wonderful news from K Linda (ma 1st sis in-law)....and it was da greatest news for all of us....i even cried wif joy....that evening mak was transfered from ICU to HDU (high dependency Unit)...

31st March 2010
Abang was admitted in da same hospital for his back pain....during her stay in da hospital, several times she mentioned she wanted a bread toast with garlic break spread, and every time i went back, mesti lupa nak buat....but that morning, i made mak vegetable soup....even she didn't want to take hospital's meals coz she was waiting for my soup....sorry mak amy sampai lambat....i was looking for train ticket to KL....system plak bole down that day...damn....i finally arrived at the hospital around 1:00 pm and mak still didn't eat..when i just wanted to feed mak wif lunch, we were chased out from HDU coz it was the nurses changing shift time....at around 4:00pm we were allowed into the room and again i can't feed mak coz mak was in a midst of transferring from HDU to normal ward.....

Finally when she settled down at her normal ward, it was a twin sharing room with abang.....i feed her and she eats a lot....same goes to our cute lil nurse, Delinot (my 1st niece) who has been taking care of mak...she's just 4 years old....she can even hold a bowl for mak to vomit....she rub mak's chest and back when mak vomiting...owh, how pure her heart is....that nite, i took a train back to KL.....

this is da lil nurses attending the patient....

4th April 2010
took my parents in-laws to visit mak...they came to KL from seremban yesterday...stayed one nite at our house...previously, abg smses me saying that mak was so weak coz she couldn't eat....but when i feed her, she eats a lot...abang said, da doctor asked all her sons, daughter, daughters in-law and son in-law to massage her...belai her with love....so, i massage her thighs, massage her hands with lotion.....stretch her arms....massage her back...well, i have a healing hand in massaging....huhu.....i brushed her hair....lotioned her feet....and it was so hard and heavy for me to leave her that day....she looks happy and cheerful....

kesian, she was soo tired....this is when mak was in ICU...she's been crying coz she wanted to see mak..mak's bed was facing the entrace...when ever we open da door, she'll be standing by the entrance and waving at her beloved Opah....but when mak was transfered to HDU, her bed was not facing da entrace nemore, so we asked permission from nurse to smuggle her in...she came in quietly, hug and kisses mak, then she left...

when i first heard bout her sickness, i thought to myself...."Ya Allah, aku blum rela untuk melepaskan mak aku pergi....aku belum bersedia untuk hidup tanpa mak....i wanted her to see my child....i want to celebrate my 1st raya as a wife with her.....i want to lean on her....lie on her lap....sleep beside her while hugging her thightly.... kiss her always...."

but when i see her condition, i thought to myself "Ya Allah, aku rela jika masa ibu ku sudah tiba... aku sudah tak sanggup melihat dia tersiksa...jika itu yg terbaik, aku redha...."

but mak said, she asked doctor "doctor, saya nie nak mati dah ker?" and da doctor said, "tak makcik, Insyaallah nyawa makcik panjang lagi"......and mak also said to me "Mak nak tgk anak K Linda dan anak kamu".....

up to yesterday, her medical and hospitalization fees was almost 20K.....and i dunno how da heck i'm gonna pay my part (we're going to share between 3 of us)....i was not even married for 2 months, which i paid everything for my wedding, we just moved in to new house....i haven't even settled down....but, that's called Qada' & Qadar and dugaan dr Allah....again, Allah xkan menguji hambanya jika Dia tahu hambanya tak mampu menanggung ujian tersebut.....

and until this time, she is still in hospital....all of you, please doa for my mom...doakan semoga dia cepat sehat and semoga dia sempat bermain dengan anak aku (and no, i'm not pregnant yet)....