Delivering the Delivery 2 (Part 1)

8th July 2013 (Monday)
I went to work as normal.. dah janji dengan kak pizah esok nak makan kat Delicious coz its my birthday!!! balik tu singgah block A jumpa asma, sbb nak ambek sampel kueh chocolate chip. Nak buat testing sok coz lusa kan puasa. Kekonon nak jual as a kueh raya la.

malam tu lepas makan tengah relax-relax, hati ni macam tak sedap je. sebab rasa baby ni sangat kurang gerak. I don't even recall when was his last movement. Rasa macam tak bergerak langsung je seharian. I told Encik Suami, he asked "nak pegi hospital ke?".. i said, "tunggu dulu la. mana tau pasni dia gerak ke." that was around 9:00pm. nearing 11:00 pm, still there was no movement. i've tried to push him, poke him, goncang perut, but still there was no movement. nak gi klinik mmg dah tutup la at this hour. so, we decided to straight away go to Hospital Sungai Buloh. 

Called Reen, owner of Ameer's nursery. nak mintak tolong dia jagakan Ameer sbb nak gi Hospital. Sbb takut kene tahan. And nanti daddy nak uruskan Mommy, nak layankan Ameer takut daddy tak menang tangan. bawak semua beg. Beg baju Mommy, beg adik, Beg documents of my previous pregnancy and delivery and current check up for pregnancy. Masa on the way nak gi Block D, sbb rumah Cikgu Ameer tu block D, cakap dengan Abang Ameer, "Abang Ameer, mommy nak pegi jumpe doctor, Abang Ameer tinggal dengan cikgu ye. Abang Ameer tido dengan cikgu ye. Abang Ameer be a good boy okay." Ameer diam je. when we arrived, and Reen pick him up, Mommy salam, hug him tightly and kiss him deeply. Mommy almost cry and Abang Ameer still remain calm. I said to him, "Abang Ameer tinggal dengan cikgu ye, Mommy pegi jumpa doktor tau." He just nodded calmly. his calmness broke my heart. sbb he seems to understand what's going on and he actually tolerating with the situation. knowing that he understand and tolerating made me overwhelming and a bit sad. macam rasa kesiannye anak Mommy kene tinggal and he's so grown up coz he was so calm. Ameer tak penah ditinggalkan overnight without any of me or his daddy.. not even with nenek.. so this is a break through..

11:30pm
arrived and registered. Tunggu agak lama and i was restless sbb risau adik dah tak gerak agak lama dah ni. Nurse sebuk soh timbang, and cek CTG. Alhamdulillah naseb baek CTG ade bunyi heart beat, time tu mcm dah lega ckit la. still im trying to push him, poke him and goncang perut. Sementara nak tunggu doctor cek, aku tgk jam, eh, it's already past 12:00 am!!! it's my birthday and i'm still in the hospital. taknak celebrate besday dalam hospital!! No!! aku nengok ade sorang doctor ni, mundar-mandir..mundar-mandir.. tp tak cek pun aku lg. aku dah agitated dah nie. So aku pun pegi kat dia, “Doctor saya nak Tanya, bape lama lagi ye saya kene tunggu? Sy nak tunggu ape sebenanya ye?” Okay I know this is a government hospital, what to expect? But still, at least feed me with some info why am I still here and what am I waiting for. Then Doctor tu ckp, “kejap ye Puan,tggu doctor lain dtg cek.” Isk, nak je aku tanya kan, mana doctor lain? Bile nak cek? Nak cek ape? Sebab aku tgk dia sorang je doctor time tu.

5:00 am
Akhirnya my name being called to see the doctor. Jumpe doctor laki India.. dia tanya aku a few question, then dia suruh aku baring. Then dia panggil sorang nurse ni masuk blk skalik, rupanya dia nak “seluk”. Aku macam kompius apakah motip dia nak “seluk” kot. I’m at 38 weeks,no sign of contraction then tetibe ko nak seluk. Ape point ko? 

Aku : So doctor saya bole balik ke?
Doc Lelaki India yang seluk aku tadi : Mungkin boleh, so Puan tunggu ye nnt nurse clearkan then Puan bole balik. But before that kita akan scan baby dulu. Puan duduk dulu
Aku : Kenapa tak buat sekarang je doc?
Doc Lelaki India yang seluk aku tadi : Kene tunggu doctor yang bole buat scan
Aku : Doctor tak bole ke?
Doc Lelaki India yang seluk aku tadi : saya tak pandai scan (dengan muka dan nada yg tiada perasaan.
Aku : (............................................................)

7:00 am
Aku dok menunggu la dari tadi. Hari ni dah le aku ade miting yang agak penting jugak. So aku sms Mak Pizah, “Akak hari ni saya EL la kot. Saya still in hospital. Akak masuk le meeting Taylor’s tu nnt ek”. Dah 24 jam dah aku xtido ni. aku restless mana bole tido kot. Dok pikir nak balik je and dok pikir meeting and paling aku serabut, aku celebrate besday kat sepital. then tetibe ade doctor perempuan panggil aku. dengan pantas akau bangun disamping harapan berbunga-bunga yang lepas jumpa doctor ni aku bole balik, tido then bangun celebrate birthday aku yg ke-30. the big number. a change of decade. from the small 2 to the big three...

Doc Perempuan : Puan baring, saya nak scan. Kenapa Puan datang hari ni?(Doc pun pusing-pusing benda alah scan tu atas perut aku)
Aku : Anak saya tak bergerak seharian semalam. So saya datang la untuk cek. Tapi smlm masa sampai hospital, dia dah gerak dah (dengan harapan jawapan aku ni diterima oleh doctor dan tanpa berpikir panjang doc akan discharge kan aku terus)
Doc Perempuan : Puan, anak Puan ni songsang la Puan.
Aku : Huh?? (dengan nada yang agak kuat sbb aku macam terkejut beruk)           
       Songsang?! Macam mana boleh songsang pulak?! Doc ni betul ke?
Doc Perempuan : Betul Puan, cuba Puan tgk screen ni.
Aku : Doc India lelaki yang cek saya tadi tak cakap pape pun. 
Doc Perempuan : memang le dia tak cakap pape sbb dia xtau. ni saya dah scan mmg anak Puan songsang.
Aku : Habes tu macam mana ni?
Doc Perempuan : Nanti Puan tunggu dulu, kita arrange untuk czer terus hari ni.
Aku : Hari ni doc? sekarang?
Doc Perempuan : Yelah. hari ni la. xbole nak pusing sbb ni dah 2nd pregnancy Puan and 1st pregnancy Puan czer.
Aku : (Makin blur) (- . -) tapi dalam hati aku dah pikir, besday adik sama ngan mommy!! yeay!!


aku pun call Encik Suami, dia yang dok terpisat-pisat sbb ngantuk tu makin la blur dan terkejut. naseb baek siang td aku dah dapat power bank yang aku beli dr Groupon minggu lepas. kalo dak mmg bateri aku dah out dah.

aku masih macam xle nak terima kenyataan yang aku nak kene beranak dah. sbb aku expect I have another week and i can settle all my work and hand over to my colleague. Bole lagi dah nak beranak dok pikir pasal keje. aku mula la dah pikir kompom aku kene maki kaw-kaw sbb bnyk lg benda outstanding. dah le dengan Vp baru, then Manager baru pun dah masuk. OMG!!!

Then aku macam dah xle pikir sbb aku macam dah ngantuk gile. Aku tgh pikir katil je skrg. since i'm in government Hospital, of course le katil sentiasa penuh. naseb baek ade waiting sleeping area. macam wad transit la. sape yg ade tag admitted je bole tido or baring kat ctu sementara tunggu katil available. bile dah ade tag tu ade extra privilege la. kitorang dapat katil transit, dapat baju and dapat makan. macam best sgt je (-_-) tapi disaat ko dah berjaga for 30 hours dan dah kebulur tahap gaban, tu semua adalah satu privilege. lama giler dah aku tak stay up lama cenggini. last time was when we went to Genting.

aku still macam kompius and tak percaya yang aku mmg kene operate hari ni. tak tau nak bitau ke dok kat abang-abang and akok ipar aku. nak bitau kat mama ke idok pun xtau lg. then ade doc dtg ckp kat aku, aku operate besok sbb hr ni OT dah penuh and kes aku ni xde le serious sgt. phew!! I'm so not ready okay!!

3:00 pm
baru le aku dapat katil.
doc anesthetic pun dah jumpe, interview and brief aku sementara doc tunggu bilik tu. Dapat wad 6 katil. okle.. janji dapat le katil. dr aku duduk je since mlm semalam. Alhamdulillah.
aku call Reen (owner nursery Ameer), Reen cakap Ameer smlm tido dengan dia. sikit pun xtanya mommy mana. Dia main-main sampai le dia tertido. sbb Reen pun ade anak laki umo 5 thn sorang and anak pompuan umo 2thn.. diorang mmg kawan main ameer. so takde le dia sunyi sangat. pegi Nursery pun tengah hari sbb bangun lambat (typical Ameer). bile Reen cakap Ameer tak tanya tu, aku dah sebak. Sebab aku tau bukan dia tak tertanya-tanya or terpikir-pikir, tp sbb dia pendam and dia xnak sebut. I know my son, dia mmg jenis pendam perasaan. OMG! Al-Ameer Hafiz, u really portray and carry your name well.

then encik suami datang hanta beg. kemain banyak bek aku angkut. hahaha.. beg baju aku satu, beg adik satu, beg susu satu. esok aku punya case 2nd, so around 11:00 am la aku operate. makanya aku kene start pose malam ni dari pukul 12:00 am. kebetulan, esoknya pun 1 Ramadhan. Alhamdulillah.. Encik suami balik je, aku terus melayar bahtera mimpi.. ZZZZZZzzzzzzzz...

naseb baek the previous weekend my FIL came coz Farah, my SIL wanted to celebrate birthday with me.. Alhamdulillah... merasa le jugak..

Alhamdulillah...

Alhamdulillah, say hello and please welcome the new hero to the family!!

Introducing my 2nd prince.. Al-Adli Hariz bin Mohd Hafeezie Nazreen..

• Born  :   10th July 2013 bersamaan dengan 1st Ramadhan
• Time  :   11:00 am
• Place :   Hospital Sungai Buloh
• Weight : 3.05 kg (0.8kg lighter than his elder brother) 

He was born a week earlier which his EDD was supposed to be on 17th July 2013..
Ingat nak mintak cesarean a day before so he can celebrate the same birth date as mommy.. rupanya dia pilih untuk lahir on Ramadhan, sama macam mommy jugak lahir bulan Ramadhan dulu.. mmg akan jadik anak mommy la ni.. dah la zodiac sama mcm mommy, just a day later than mommy and lahir pun bulan Ramadhan..

Rupanya Al-Adli Hariz ni nak Opah and Atuk dia sambut dia masa lahir.. Sebab orang cakap bulan Ramadhan ni roh-roh keluarga kita yang dah meninggal akan berkeliaran untuk tgk saudara mara dia kirimkan pahala atau ibadah ke tidak..

Since dah lahir on Ramadhan ni, InsyaAllah menjadi anak yang soleh..

 

Rezeki, Nikmat & Syukur

this is my status in FB today:
Rezeki Allah comes in so many ways and forms..
it might not be in a form of cash or materials,
it might be in a form of your healthiness and your family healthiness,
it might be in the quality time spent with family and love ones,
it can also be in a form of  and happiness,
stop complaining, comparing and condemning,
cherish and embrace all the things you have coz without Allah's will, u wont have any.. — feeling wonderful.

I have been thinking bout posting this status for a few days already.. not sure why, maybe coz I'm moving to a new era and a new age.. today is my final 2.. I'm going to be 30 by tomorrow..
or is it because of all the things that happened around me with my friends and family..

lately, there's a lot of occasion and incident that makes me sit and ponder, Allah mmg Maha pemurah, Allah tak pernah kedekut especially dengan aku.. if we sit and think and compare what we have now, there is a lot to be thankful for..

kalau nak compare ngan org lain, kami ni bkn le jenis berduit.. aku slalu pikir nape le kami ni jenis kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang mkn petang.. aku slalu mcm menyirap je ngan En Suami sbb slalu xde duit (tp aku rasa sebenanye dia saje ckp kat aku yg dia xde duit. laki aku nie jenis kedekut ckit) hahaha.. hutang keliling pinggang.. hire purchase la, mortgage la,  personal loan lagi, study loan lagi campur lg ngan credit card..  kami xmampu pakai keta baru, masing2 dok pakai kereta wira yang dah lebih dr 10 thn.. even driver office aku pun mampu pakai Exora.. but then aku terpikir, ade tu nak pakai kereta pun xmampu.. angkut anak bini naik moto redah hujan.. aku penah nampak ade motorcyclist ni bawak anak dia balik sekolah, dok dpn dia, kaki dalam bakul, pastu tetido atas handle.. sedihnya rasa.. but then when i think back, Alhamdulillah, xpernah sekali pun sampai kami xde makanan untuk dijamah.. xpenah lagi le sampai kene menahan lapa..

another rezeki that people often forgot is, rezeki anak..
Alhamdulillah aku diberi kesuburan dan rezeki anak.. masa kawen itu hari pun, sempat sekali je period, terus lekat dah.. we didnt plan to get it so soon.. kalau ade tu ade la, kalo xde kami xkesah.. but mungkin time tu Allah ambil mak aku, Dia beri aku dgn Ameer sebagai pengganti.. and then for this 2nd child, baru je terpikir maybe it's time to get another child for us, skalik 1st attempt pun dah lekat.. Subhanallah Alhamdulillah, mudahnya bagi kami.. one of my best friend, her journey to motherhood wasn't easy.. she's been married for 4 years, br dpt anak.. itupun she has to take injection which cost her thousands of dollar.. and her sister pun minta tolong aku doakan spy dia dpt lagi baby sbb she said doa ibu mengandung ni makbul.. huhu.. ade plak opismate aku nie dah 5 thn kawen.. dah operate buang cyst and mcm2 treatment, still xde rezeki jugak..

being pregnant is a rezeki, the journey through pregnancy itself is also rezeki..
Alhamdulillah aku dr time pregnantkan Ameer dulu xde pun morning sickness.. muntah pun bole kire bape kali.. bloated or water retention pun mmg xde.. kencing manis or darah tinggi pun xde.. my pregnancies are a bliss.. nak masak pun larat, nak buat house chores bole lagik, driving smp le delivery day pun larat, even pakai 2.5 inc heels during 37th weeks pregnant pun aku bole lg.. ade officemate aku nie, berjalan pun termengah-mengah.. one of my oldfriend dia ckp dia loya and morning sickness every single day. berlari-lari ke toilet and sampai terduduk le tepi jamban opis sbb xlarat sangat asyik nak termuntah. and then ade wife office mate aku ni dia punya water retention sampai kene pakai cast kat pergelangan tangan. then peha dia bengkak sampai doctor kene balut kaki dia to prevent bengkak to worsen. Subhanallah, bukan senang Allah nak menghapuskan dosa. tp aku Alhamdulillah mudah je.

one thing that I'm very thankful is my health and my family's health..
Alhamdulillah, semenjak lahir Ameer xpenah kene penyakit yg teruk or being admitted.. just fever, flu and cough.. aku and PZ pun xpenah lagi sakit teruk except for ade 1 time tu PZ kene diarrhea smp kene buat endoscopic and admitted for a day..
my department mate, MC for 1 week sbb suspected dengue.. exactly after that plak, his 7 months old son  plak kene admitted for a week sbb fever.. it's a viral fever caused from the current haze situation.. then my best friend's 2YO son admitted as well due to diarrhea for almost a week.. my office mate plak, his 3YO son kene operate tonsil.. anak dia dah amek pneumuococal vaccine tp still infected with pneumonia sampai 2 kali masuk ICU.. in the end, kene operate buang tonsil.. yang sayunya sbb anak kecik yang sakit.. aku ni tgk Ameer demam panas je pun macam dah sayu, inikan kalo bebdk tu derita sakit.. Subhanallah.. semoga dugaan yg diorang alami tu adalah ujian dan penghapus dosa kedua parents nya...

satu lagi rezeki yang orang slalu terlepas pandang.. having a love ones and the people who's loving you around you..
Allah ambil orang yang paling aku sayang disaat aku sangat memerlukannya.. I'm the youngest in my family and Im the only daughter.. I've been my mother's best friend since we lost my father.. which when i was 10 years old.. we went anywhere together.. i follow her shopping, accompanying her for outstation, meeting up with friends, that's why I know most of her friends and her friends know me even until now.. she knows all my close friends and I like to talk bout them with mak. and Mak she will always membebel to me, she will always try to pick on me or selalu cari salah aku. when i asked her, "Nape mak slalu marah amy? ade je benda yang tak kena. nape?" her simple answer was, "Mak nak ajar kamu to be a better person. to improve yourself. to be tough and tahan setiap dugaan". I replied, "nape abang ngan bancik tak kene marah pun macam amy?" then mak replied, "mak nak kamu jadi lagi bagus dan elok daripada diorang. lagipun diorang lelaki. kamu perempuan. kamu akan kawen and ade mertua & ipar, kalau tegor ckit pun kamu xtahan, macam mana kamu nak hidup dengan suami, keluarga mertua and macam mana kamu nak jaga anak?" everytime mak marah, not even once i walked away from her when she's talking, show my back to her or even slammed a door behind me. and now when i think back, Alhamdulillah mak thought me like that. she thought me to be tough, to be strong and to be patient. If not, i don't think i can go through what i've been through now. losing my father, then losing my mother. kene DI, suspend, potong gaji, xdapat increment, bonus kene potong then 3 years being denied for a promotion by the management though i performed above average.

Allah ambil Mak masa aku baru 4 bulan kawen which i still needs her guidance and tunjuk ajar dalam menjalankan tugas sebagai seorang isteri dan mengendalikan rumah tangga.. to share with her how wonderful my husband is.. how similar they could be.. Mak suka makan anything with red bean, so does En Suami.. both of them like Green colour.. Mak loves jagung, so does En Suami.. and a few other things that they actually shared the same interest..  and En Suami even said, "Bestkan kalau mak ade. mesti seronok. mesti mak selalu datang rumah kita. I pun xsempat nak beramah mesra dengan mak". i was so touched coz i know how much he loves my mom and how much more he could be in love with her if he gets to know her better. At the same time I was 3 months pregnant.. the moment where every women really-really needs their mom.. I have a lot of questions bout my pregnancy, bout the development and most of all, someone very dear to me to be by my side when I'm going through the pain of labor.. seronok dengar orang cerita pasal pantang mak jaga.. mak siapkan mandian, mak siapkan tungku, mak masakkan makanan, mak jagakan anak.. My mak haven't even got the chance to hold any of my zuriat.. I definitely sure if mak is still around, Ameer will definitely be her favourite grandchild.. she will always be at our house, she will always find way to come and stay at our house.. and i will definitely go back to Ipoh every month..

tp Allah itu maha adil.. Alhamdulillah Allah beri aku Mak Mertua yang sanggup menjaga aku ketika pantang..memang MIL xkan sama dengan mak sendiri, tp bolehlah juga aku menumpang kasih pada MIL.

when i observe people around, I realize that people who doesn't really appreciate their mom and not treating like I did, Mak diorang Alhamdulillah panjang umor.. I never go around and tell people that my mother is bias and "Mak aku bukan sayang aku pun".. how could she day that to all her fiends while when i look at that person, she's living with her mom and they have a maid. Her mom buy a lot of nice & expensive things for her children. Her mom paid for her house furniture, her mom paid for her debts.. aku ni, nak klua berdua dengan suami pun kene ambik cuti masa Ameer kat nursery. itupun just for a movie or lunch date which only took us a few hours. bergolok bergadai tuk beli rumah and we don't even have extra money tuk install kitchen cabinet.

some people can just sit around and the mother cook for her and her husband. Her mother even serve meals for her and her husband. her mother have to hold her child while she's eating, once she's done eating baru her mother eats. Ya Allah, sampainya hati.. i could never imagine i could have a heart to do that to mak.

aku ni seboleh-bolehnya try my very best tak menyusahkan Mak aku. I've start cooking for my family since I'm in form 1 just to lessen her burden. I will always serve her food and she's my priority. Never even once I asked for her money since I went to MMU except for house deposit. If she's doing any house chores, i will insist to do it for her. Tak pernah sampai hati aku ni nak tgk mak aku susah payah buat kerja. I wouldnt let her carry any shopping bags even it's just a slice of bread. Subhanallah punya kasih aku pada Mak sampai xsanggup langsung tengok dia susah. So I can't never understand how people could just hurt or just asking their mother to do things for them.
sampai to the extend that i said to En Suami, "Bestnya org yang ade mak bapak ni. mungkin nyawa dia panjang sbb anak-anak dia masih memerlukan diorang."..

Kesimpulannya, rezeki Allah comes in so many ways. belajarlah bersyukur dan kurangkanlah merungut and complain. what you have now is rezeki dari Allah..