How will you be if.....???

we had this news last week.....it was last Tuesday....
when we were chilling in front of tv.....it was at nite...mr hubby got this sms......mentioning one of his former staff' husband had just past away earlier that day.....i noe this gurl....i noe most of his staffs and colleagues coz i went to a few event wif them.....mr hubby went, "eh, u kenal kan aizam?" i said "kenal" and i can still remember how she looks like....she's from sitiawan....she quit from TMC and went to KPLI....then she met Ellia, my BFF.....she's an English teacher now....i asked mr hubby, "kenapa?"....mr hubby then went "i dpt sms nie ckp husband dia meninggal pagi tadi," i was like so damn shocked....."tp i xtau le nie no sape yg sms i"....then i insist him to call that number....and it was siti's...his team manager....

siti said, everything was ok when he left for work...once he arrived at his office, he collapsed and unconscious.....took him to hospital, and he passed away....they said it was heart failure.....he's a marine in Lumut....wut really touched me was, "wasn't they just got married exactly after us? somewhere in March?"......i believed that her wedding henna is still on her fingers....even me, married exactly 4 months on this date, i still have my wedding henna on my fingers.....

just imagine, henna is still on her fingers, where ever she goes people will still keep on saying "newly wed couple".....still getting to noe each other....just getting to be comfortable wif each other....how owh how on earth she felt....i cried when i got da news....and today when i visited her facebook, again i cried.....i was thinking, she still have her wedding photo on her profile picture....how will i ever be if i am in her shoes......and today, her status was "A part of u has grown in me, together forever we shall be, never apart, maybe in distance, but not in the heart. We only part to meet again"...that's wut really touched my heart.....we was not even close, we spoke once when we meet...but i do visited her facebook few times....

imagining having a long distance wedding is even hard for me....but to imagine that u lost ur husband when ur marriage is just 3 months old....owh....couldn't come to even think bout it let alone to imagine bout it...... i've got an idea of how life would be when ppl lost a husband, coz my mom was a widower when she was 41 after 17 years of marriage....i still noe she misses my dad a lot....coz ur husband is da one that u choose to love and to spend ur life with and to have kids with....so, secretly i'm prepared mentally if somewhere in our marriage, someday not soon but far a long da way, that i might loose mr hubby eventually...but let it be after we were married for 40 years or more.....even that makes me really afraid....coz in my family, both of my grandmas and my mom are a widower........owh....."Ya Allah, kuatkanlah semangat Aizam semoga dia mampu menempuh hidupnya..."